Quote Originally Posted by ThisYouWillDo View Post
Isabelle also asks how the couple who are "playing away" can possibly trust each other knowing that they are cheating on at least one other person. Assuming it is cheating, they can't. But I guess they take a calculated risk that it will work for them as far as they want it to. After all, apart from spotty, spunk-filled teenagers bent on destroying Casanova's claim to be the world's best lover, most people want to have an honest relationship with their lover. If there's no trust, then I do not see how the relationship can progress beyond crude sex.
Think it is a matter of what "trust" is defined as for each person just as "playing away" is defined by each person. And honestly, I think in many ways it is easier to build trust in the second relationship, assuming of course that the relationship is a real founded caring relationship and not just a quick sex fest. (Hence where "true vs. play" Dominates come in to my way of thinking.) To me the second relationship was not a "play" relationship. It was true and real and more substantial on most levels then my marriage was. I could trust him to be more open and brutally honest when I needed it, etc. The second relationship isn't just about sex or playing... it is about so much more then that. I have ended relationship/friendship that were being created just on "sex" because that is not what I am seeking... "sex" to me is NOT the point or the reason. There is a different between cheating for sex and cheating due to happiness and fulfillment on other levels. Yes, I know splitting hairs in a way...

After all at that point what else is there to loose? You have learned from your previous mistakes (hopefully) and with the right "second" relationship you are forced, on many levels, to take a look at what you did/do wrong, evaluate it, change it, etc by the simple fact of sharing it with someone else on such an intimate level. Honestly, I knew with my first Dominate, who was also married, what his level of commitment could be, what limitations where on the relationship, etc. I had more trust in him (and still do) then I do in my husband daily... not sure I can explain it....

And just to confuse the topic more... there are times that I find that the second relationship actually enhances the first without the other partners knowledge. If I am being more fulfilled and being made happier due to whatever reason/source I am less likely to take the small annoying things and blow them out of portion. I am calmer, more able to focus, etc. All of which have positive impacts on the marriage....