Hi Xan_in_chains,
Let's suppose she hadn't been drinking and made those same orders...
If it were me, I'd be just as confused and would have refused her demands.
I agree with all the excellent advice given above and would like you to keep looking for the warning signs.
Can you trust this domme or not?
I certainly wouldn't let her punish you for disobeying orders with flagrant disgregard to your preferences and limits.
You might find this thread helpful:
Choosing a Master/Mistress: Lessons from a Pet Mistress
http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/showthread.php?t=3737
All the best as your continue your journey,
Ruby