Lady C's 4th Assignment

[Nikita]

Lady C,

I'm sorry I haven't gotten back to your re-write. The holidays put me way behind schedule at work. Reading right now.

Nikita

edited to add:

I think I figured out 'Adept.' It's a title. If I'm wrong, don't tell me. It's not polite.

When I read a piece, the first thing on my mind is the story, how it begins, how the characters come across, what it is about, pov, etc. I don't comment much on grammar or punctuation.

TYWD gave a good example on how to start the piece. One of the most difficult things about starting a story is how to engage your reader with the first paragraph. After the first few paragraphs, you grooved.

Adept is a precise character and Catherine is eager to be accepted.

I liked this paragraph

She had gotten to her underwear and began to hesitate. “All of it”, I clipped out. As she removed her bra and panties a blush started to rise from her chest and began to heat her face. “Why are you blushing, surely you understood that nudity was to be expected?” I inquired.

Very nice humiliation. You made me feel the heat on her face.

It reads very well. The male character was interesting. I am wearing a big smile on my face. Good job.