I met my husband in a place that had nothing to do with the lifestyle, where I was not submissive in any way, I was quite outspoken, and had a very sort of domineering persona. Somehow he saw past all that. I asked him about it once. He shrugged and said, "You know how some people say they have a gay-dar? Doms often have the equivalent for a compatible submissive." I knew if he could pick me out of that crowd, he was the one for me.

In the same place, after I'd met my husband, I was chatting with another guy. He claimed he knew nothing about the lifestyle (because I'd called him on being dominant), but expressed interest. He asked me, "So I could tell you to masturbate right now, and you'd have to do it?" I laughed my ass off. "Nope," I told him. He said he was confused, if I was submissive and he was dominant, why that wouldn't be the case.

I told him, "Just because I am submissive, does not mean that I am YOUR submissive. I'll give you the same courtesy I would extend to any of my friends, but that kind of respect has to be earned. I'm not just here for the world to walk all over."

I was pretty proud of myself. The last bit was something I was starting to believe.

It's interesting how we all react so differently to interactions. I would've felt so uncomfortable in the situation above. Variety is the spice of life and all that!