Q and minxie,

*wiping away tears* blimey! Thanks guys.

This is not the sort of thread that I would ever have expected to find on a BDSM site! And I think that it goes to show that there are actual sincere human beings who enjoy the lifestyle without resorting to pushing lighted cigarettes up a non-believers bum to prove the point! (just reviewed this and have to make joke about cigarette butt! apologies)

I am a dedicated lifestyler and have been so for 16 years. I have been to clubs in London, to events to support the "Spanner" hardcore lifers and been befriended by some fairly serious players who turned out to be brilliant professional people who were in it for the fun.

So, can the chatroom be mild and still be the place to meet lifestylers. Bet your arse it can! I say to those who still think that to be serious about BDSM it is necessary to be mean, moody tight-lipped pricks who always wear black and always treat subs as sub-human "your insecurity is showing". A Dom can afford to show emotion, even shock! horror! tenderness when relevant.A true Dom does not have to prove Dom qualities to anyone.Unattacheds-go and play in the chatroom and remember that a mild mannered person with thick-rimmed glasses may not be all that hHe/sShe seems.

In closing I can only hope for those of you putting a foot in the water that you are as lucky as I have been in meeting the perfect partner.