Protocol?

[gemmy]

Well... I hate to spoil the fun faithfull readers, but the business engagement in CO has been put off. Our CEO and loyal sales consultant determined that the $6,000.00 or so we would be spending to go to essentially a "tech convention" would not be worth it for the sales and marketing folks. *sniffle*

Instead, I'll be in Phoenix/Scottsdale on the 18th for a little under a week. I will technically be in the Denver airport for about three hours on the 18th but, much to my disappointment, dinner with the famous Sir Russell will have to occur another time. Denver is a pretty popular place for myself and my team, so I know I'll make it back soon but dammit I was looking forward to this!

Awwww hun I'm sorry to hear your trip has been put off, sounds like it would have been fun but as Sir Russell has said, you may yet get to have a quick coffee Then we can all still get to hear about Mr. Infamous hehe

[thrall]

An interesting thought........


How come i don't feel the need to take such precautions with other subs? Or just women for that matter......Domme or sub.

Should we be taking these very same precautions with everyone on line??...Or is it just you Dom's???.......lol. Is the vouch safe of someone you trust enough??

I may be naive about this one but for me it is enough. Im going be gallivanting around with a girl I've never met and .........im going to have the greatest time in the world!

[icey]

An interesting thought........


How come i don't feel the need to take such precautions with other subs? Or just women for that matter......Domme or sub.

Should we be taking these very same precautions with everyone on line??...Or is it just you Dom's???.......lol. Is the vouch safe of someone you trust enough??

it goes for everyone, male, female Dom/me or sub, anybody could be anyone.for eg would you meet with me without knowing nothing of me or taking precautions?
in reality for anyone here knows i could be a Dom/me or a man which I know for certain im not...least last time i looked i wasnt lol

I may be naive about this one but for me it is enough. Im going be gallivanting around with a girl I've never met and .........im going to have the greatest time in the world!

and i hope you have a wonderful time thrall..im sure you will but whilst im not being offensive still take all precautions anyone who is genuine will be fine with that,will expect it and will respect it.

thee are people here i would love to meet r/t and am confident of but i would still cover my back so to speak just as i did with Icehawk...just because someone is a girl or sub doesnt mean they come with a guarantee.

[thrall]

Thanks icey........but this one comes iron clad....and i have 100% confidence...and i think she is the greatest!!!

[thrall]

Breathe...

I think you are both saying the same things....

1... That you are who you say you are.
2... That reguardless of who you say you are....when meeting someone for the first time that it prudent to follow all safety precautions......

hugs

[Ozme52]

Oz…hmmm not sure when submitting would be appropriate in this situation, I’m going to assume you were kidding. We’ll discuss that this summer when we actually meet…looking forward to that.

As am I J-Go.

Amber was getting so much advice to be "wary" that I felt compelled to actually answer her question as to how to act.

As far as the final thought was put, as I said... if appropriate.

The lady who runs our munch once said she never blushes.
Now she blushes uncontrollably when I look at her and raise an eyebrow.
Nothing that I did to her, nothing that I said to her outside of the concept of blushing for me in public... and now she can't help herself... Nothing more, but it gives me pleasure to have that control... and she found she likes the attention. You never know what falls into the realm of appropriate.

[Ozme52]

amber I would be willing to have coffee and whatever at the airport with you and that way I can say I meet the lovely intelligent sexy amber before Oz does. lol, it is a real offer so if you would like I will be there.

laffin. Now that's a worthy way for us to compete Russell.

[Ozme52]

Strange post there Oz.....

Why strange? Because I chose to answer amber's actual question rather than preach something to her that she has elsewhere made clear she knows?

Back to Oz's post- this is/was about two people meeting, who happen to be a Dom & a sub. No 'protocol' or secret handshakes need to be observed, apart from treating each other with the respect you'd give anyone.

Isn't that pretty much what I said? So why try imply I said otherwise. I just added that she should endeavor to enjoy herself.

No offence guys- I'm sure you're both decent & honourable, but let's keep our feet on the ground here, when online moves to in person.

If everyone followed your guidelines, no one would ever meet with someone they got to know online first. I prefer a more balanced approach. You can have your opinion, allow me to have mine.

[DowntownAmber]

Goodness, I take a few days off from being online and the thread explodes! *hehehe*

Sir Russell: I would love to meet you for coffee at the airport. I'll email you with my layover details as soon as I change my flight arrangements.

Oz: though my submission belongs solely to one man, I'm gonna go ahead and guess you'll likely make J-Go AND me blush at some point... I have a sneaking suspicion you just kinda' have that can-make-anyone-blush-in-public type of personality...

Thrall: The same rules of engagement apply for Doms or subs, men or women I would suspect. The world is full of fruitcakes, be prepared. Each situation is different, of course, and the "rules" change based on what type of interaction you've had with the person you're meeting, but I know you have both good sense and good intuition and will handle the situation with healthy doses of both.

[DowntownAmber]

Cool Luke's Hand (and anyone else that determines this thread is someplace to spew venom): if someone deems it necessary to attack you or your position in this thread, by all means feel free to back up your statements. If, on the other hand, you're simply inclined to bust out six paragraphs worth of public "fuck you's" because all the private messaging you've passed back and forth ripping on someone else hasn't quite assuaged the ego hit you took from a comment over a week ago on a completely different thread, well just stop it.

PM the person you don't like and tell them so if it makes you feel better, but keep it off my thread, m'kay? Breathe deeply, count to ten, then patter off and spend the ten minutes it took to write that post and go do something useful or hop on a different thread and write something that will actually help someone or answer a question etc. etc..

Thank you very much, now let's all go on about our day. Mods, is it possible to remove the "angry posts" please? Thank you.

[gemmy]

Goodness, I take a few days off from being online and the thread explodes! *hehehe*

Sir Russell: I would love to meet you for coffee at the airport. I'll email you with my layover details as soon as I change my flight arrangements.

Oz: though my submission belongs solely to one man, I'm gonna go ahead and guess you'll likely make J-Go AND me blush at some point... I have a sneaking suspicion you just kinda' have that can-make-anyone-blush-in-public type of personality...

Thrall: The same rules of engagement apply for Doms or subs, men or women I would suspect. The world is full of fruitcakes, be prepared. Each situation is different, of course, and the "rules" change based on what type of interaction you've had with the person you're meeting, but I know you have both good sense and good intuition and will handle the situation with healthy doses of both.

Well, I for one look forward to hearing an update on the coffee visit hun

[thrall]

Thrall: The same rules of engagement apply for Doms or subs, men or women I would suspect. The world is full of fruitcakes, be prepared. Each situation is different, of course, and the "rules" change based on what type of interaction you've had with the person you're meeting, but I know you have both good sense and good intuition and will handle the situation with healthy doses of both.

I know ...and agree. Still and all though i feel more relaxed about the "rules" with women and subs....

And as to those fruitcakes you mentioned.....LMAO....are they the fabled ones that last forever and just keep getting passed around??????

[DowntownAmber]

I know ...and agree. Still and all though i feel more relaxed about the "rules" with women and subs....

And as to those fruitcakes you mentioned.....LMAO....are they the fabled ones that last forever and just keep getting passed around??????

Yes, those ARE the fabled fruitcakes!! Beware!! *giggles uncontrollably*

[thrall]

Alright so now that we have covered the issue of fruitcakes......i have a few questions about them....

What about nuts....some fruitcakes come with nuts???? Are they big nuts or small ones?? Are they as soaked in liquor as reported??....and more importantly.......is it a hard fruitcake or soft one???


Do i need to be more careful of the fruitcake...or the nuts???


all good questions to ponder...........lmao.........*wink*

[Whippett]

As am I J-Go.

Amber was getting so much advice to be "wary" that I felt compelled to actually answer her question as to how to act.

As far as the final thought was put, as I said... if appropriate.

The lady who runs our munch once said she never blushes.
Now she blushes uncontrollably when I look at her and raise an eyebrow.
Nothing that I did to her, nothing that I said to her outside of the concept of blushing for me in public... and now she can't help herself... Nothing more, but it gives me pleasure to have that control... and she found she likes the attention. You never know what falls into the realm of appropriate.

Am I the only one who finds this incredibly disrespectful to both the young lady and her Dom?

Because I find such blatant disregard for the other Dom's prerogative distasteful in the extreme.

[Sir_Russell]

Whippett

Did you read his first post, if you did then taken in context I don't think he insulted anyone or ask her to become his sub. As far as how she reacts to him is her business. Since the three of them have plans to meet in summer I don't think there is a problem. I am sure they will all be respectful to each other.

Ask yourself why any Dom that has given public coaching on how to be safe when meeting a Dom for the first time is suddenly a villian. I personally hope to meet both Oz and his lovely lady some day soon and I will expect my lady to be respectful and can't even picture his being anything else.

[Alex Bragi]

again tojo you show us more of you then Oz and me. So by your doubts that I am as I seem you seem to be saying that you aren't who you claim to be since after all we all lie here.

Can I say that you personally disgust me and have for a very long time. Your married to a none sub and have girls everywhere that you deeply care for. That too says beware of me and beware of my advise because I see this as just an online game....

Sir Russell, please it's not a good form to paraphrase anyone here. It's confusing and often misleading.

And, no, you may not say that. No member here has the right to judge or criticize any other member's lifestyle or way of life.

[Whippett]

Whippett

Did you read his first post, if you did then taken in context I don't think he insulted anyone or ask her to become his sub. As far as how she reacts to him is her business. Since the three of them have plans to meet in summer I don't think there is a problem. I am sure they will all be respectful to each other.

Ask yourself why any Dom that has given public coaching on how to be safe when meeting a Dom for the first time is suddenly a villian. I personally hope to meet both Oz and his lovely lady some day soon and I will expect my lady to be respectful and can't even picture his being anything else.

I think you missed what I quoted Russell - Oz specifically talks about counting coup on a woman who organizes the munches in his area. There is no indication she is his submissive - he just likes to make her blush to prove he can - and has conditioned her to respond automatically from the sound of it.

Playing mental games that leave your own sub uneasy or humiliated is one thing - doing so to another's sub is extremely disrespectful, and if it were done to my sub - I would have a serious issue with the dominant who had done so - and a public apology that made the dom look like the jerk he had been in doing that stunt would only be part of it. And from Oz's posting - it is clear that the woman he is humiliating is NOT his submissive.

I dislike doms who count coup for the sake of doing so - and find it difficult to respect them since I consider what they do akin to harrasment

[jeanne]

A thought from a sub who's not conversant in the "Dom rules"...so I'm sure some will ignore me.

Just because a woman is submissive doesn't mean she stops being a woman. Doesn't mean she stops enjoying a little bit of attention and admiration from men. I expect if Oz thought this was going to be a problem for either her or her Dom, if she has one, he'd not have done it. I, personally, have never seen him be disrespectful here or in real life.

And I believe, in the post to Amber, there was a caveat - "if appropriate". Not "if I feel like it, if I want you to, etc." - the word was 'appropriate'.

Vocabulary is a wonderful thing.

[Ozme52]

Oz: though my submission belongs solely to one man,

Of course. I never imagined otherwise.

I'm gonna go ahead and guess you'll likely make J-Go AND me blush at some point...

Certainly not on purpose, I would never presume to do so to J-Go, nor would I do so to you lest it was clear you were receptive to a little flirting. And I know that you wouldn't if J-Go objected. I know you know I never meant to imply otherwise.

I have a sneaking suspicion you just kinda' have that can-make-anyone-blush-in-public type of personality...

Well... if you're challenging me... sure.

[Ozme52]

Am I the only one who finds this incredibly disrespectful to both the young lady and her Dom?

Because I find such blatant disregard for the other Dom's prerogative distasteful in the extreme.

I think you missed what I quoted Russell - Oz specifically talks about counting coup on a woman who organizes the munches in his area. There is no indication she is his submissive - he just likes to make her blush to prove he can - and has conditioned her to respond automatically from the sound of it.

Playing mental games that leave your own sub uneasy or humiliated is one thing - doing so to another's sub is extremely disrespectful, and if it were done to my sub - I would have a serious issue with the dominant who had done so - and a public apology that made the dom look like the jerk he had been in doing that stunt would only be part of it. And from Oz's posting - it is clear that the woman he is humiliating is NOT his submissive.

I dislike doms who count coup for the sake of doing so - and find it difficult to respect them since I consider what they do akin to harrasment

That's a hell of a leap.
You assume she's a submissive.
You assume she belongs to someone else.
You assume she wasn't flirting.
You assume I imposed myself on her unwillingly.

And there's a hell of a large difference between being embarassed and being humiliated.

Did you not see where I said she likes the attention?
Do you understand the concept of flirting?
Do you understand the concept of appropriate?
How many times do I have to say that? "When appropriate."

Counting coup? I guess that must be what you do, to presume that's what I do.

[Ozme52]

Just because a woman is submissive doesn't mean she stops being a woman. Doesn't mean she stops enjoying a little bit of attention and admiration from men.

Exactly!

[Ozme52]

...but consider myself a fluffy pink high maintenance Dom as well - lol.

Out of context and from an unrelated thread... but I just found this...

...and it speaks to a huge difference between our approach to D/s.

I call your approach sub-centric.
My approach is dom-centric.

There's room for both and neither is abusive.

[cookiecat]

I've just read through this thread.

Ohhhhhhhhh - it's good to be back at the Library.

Seriously, though - it's wonderful to know this little community extends beyond the monitor and allows for r/l interaction.

[Ozme52]

Now Oz- you've always come across as someone who listens to the other side of an argument & usually talks sense. Allow me to clarify my previous post.




Now, Amber is meeting someone who identifies as a Dom- someone who has never dommed her from what I can gather from her original post. From what you're saying, all subs should defer to any guy who says 'I'm a Dom?'

So if I come on this forum & say I'm 'Regent Tojo' does that mean that when I met Aussiegirl, she should have addressed me as such?

My point is that until a Dom proves that he deserves respect- in person, they're just a guy who says 'I'm a Dom.'

Well, that's part of the problem with the language. I wrote "formal name" and you apparently thought I meant "entitlement".

But you don't call your boss (my example) "Bob" unless he invited you to do so. You use terms like Mr. Bosses-name, or sir. Likewise, if your name is Regent Tojo, then that may well be the best thing to call you... certainly not "master" or "lord" which are "protocol" forms of address. If you invite her to call you Tojo, or master for that matter, she still has the option to decline and address you formally, I guess in this case, as Regent Tojo.

As far as deserving respect is concerned, everyone deserves a modicum of respect, (dom, sub, or vanilla,) until they prove they don't deserve it. I've always found that to be a better approach to dealing with people. And it appears to me, so does amber, as she was concerned about protocol.

Perhaps my explanation was too brief.

[J-Go]

Well, well, well….this has gotten interesting to say the least. Can I just re-establish that I am the Dom here…If I had a problem with Amber meeting Sir Russell, or anyone for that matter I can assure you it would not happen.
I am not, nor have I been insulted by anyone or anything that has been posted on this thread. Oz from one flirt to another…it’s OK, if I think you or anyone has crossed the line I’ll let you know, trust me on this…still looking forward to meeting you! Sir Russell the fact that you are hanging in here on this thread says a great deal so just for clarification, I completely trust Amber, you and your integrity in this meeting. If you have any questions or would simply like to reach out to me as her Dom a simple PM would be fine with me.
As for everyone’s advice thank you. I do think it’s time to put this thread to bed however as the advice has been taken, permission granted (encouraged actually) and the meeting set. Let’s review…the advice has been 1) meet in a public place, I think an airport qualifies. 2) call your Dom when you meet, I look forward to meeting Sir Russell as well albeit over the phone. 3) have an escape plan in case things get weird, we have that. All good advice, all taken and implemented. Again thank you. Now can we all stop hovering around my sub and let me get back to spanking her?...Thank you

[gemmy]

Well, well, well….this has gotten interesting to say the least. Can I just re-establish that I am the Dom here…If I had a problem with Amber meeting Sir Russell, or anyone for that matter I can assure you it would not happen.
I am not, nor have I been insulted by anyone or anything that has been posted on this thread. Oz from one flirt to another…it’s OK, if I think you or anyone has crossed the line I’ll let you know, trust me on this…still looking forward to meeting you! Sir Russell the fact that you are hanging in here on this thread says a great deal so just for clarification, I completely trust Amber, you and your integrity in this meeting. If you have any questions or would simply like to reach out to me as her Dom a simple PM would be fine with me.
As for everyone’s advice thank you. I do think it’s time to put this thread to bed however as the advice has been taken, permission granted (encouraged actually) and the meeting set. Let’s review…the advice has been 1) meet in a public place, I think an airport qualifies. 2) call your Dom when you meet, I look forward to meeting Sir Russell as well albeit over the phone. 3) have an escape plan in case things get weird, we have that. All good advice, all taken and implemented. Again thank you. Now can we all stop hovering around my sub and let me get back to spanking her?...Thank you

*claps* as always J-Go, well said

[annie]

An interesting thought........


How come i don't feel the need to take such precautions with other subs? Or just women for that matter......Domme or sub.

Should we be taking these very same precautions with everyone on line??...Or is it just you Dom's???.......lol. Is the vouch safe of someone you trust enough??

I may be naive about this one but for me it is enough. Im going be gallivanting around with a girl I've never met and .........im going to have the greatest time in the world!

Honestly Thrall, in my opinion you should do the same precautions wiht anyone you meet for the first time, especially on line, be them male/female, Dom or sub.

That being said... do I? ummmmmmmm... no. Just becasue it doesn't cross my mind too.

Also, the Doms/men should be taking the EXACT same precautions. I may be a female but that doesn't mean I can't still drug them without their knowledge, lure them somewhere, etc. I could follow them from the restaurant, etc. Heck my "safe" call could even be finalizing details of having help in doing them in. How are they to know or stay safe?

It only makes sense. Now if the big bad Doms didn't think they were invincible most of the time and do it is an entirely different challenge.... *laughs*

[Whippett]

That's a hell of a leap.
You assume she's a submissive.
You assume she belongs to someone else.
You assume she wasn't flirting.
You assume I imposed myself on her unwillingly.

And there's a hell of a large difference between being embarassed and being humiliated.

Did you not see where I said she likes the attention?
Do you understand the concept of flirting?
Do you understand the concept of appropriate?
How many times do I have to say that? "When appropriate."

Counting coup? I guess that must be what you do, to presume that's what I do.

you make presumptions yourself Ozme. Yes, I saw all those points you made - and what rang clearest was your pride in seizing control over the person in question in some small way - and that is counting coup.

It is clear you enjoy counting coup. It appears in a good many of your posts as a common theme. The fact I recognize it does not, however, mean I do it myself.

[annie]

you make presumptions yourself Ozme. Yes, I saw all those points you made - and what rang clearest was your pride in seizing control over the person in question in some small way - and that is counting coup.

It is clear you enjoy counting coup. It appears in a good many of your posts as a common theme. The fact I recognize it does not, however, mean I do it myself.

OK... so you two don't Dom in the same fashion. Duly noted. Everyone can make their own judgments and opinions about either/both of you. So... can the pissing match end now? (I would much prefer to buy tickets to the next show about spanking as JGlo suggested! )