It would only be rude for me not to review one of yours. After all, I have shown you mine

Overall, it is not bad. It gets to the action quite quickly, which I find can work against you. At the moment, we have nothing invested in the female. We are watchers at the side of a road who witness two cars about to have an accident. Although tragic, we have nothing invested in the central charactors of the drama.

So the description is good, but I would like to see more of the human element. This is, however an introduction. I assume that, having wett our apetite, you are now going to introduce a central charactor whose adventures we will follow as her course converges, like a Greek tragedy, inevitably towards the toturer.

Anyway, fine opening chapter. It should be interesting to see how where you go with this.