Welcome to the site, and I hope you find what you are looking for here.

I always consider BDSM to be more of a journey than anything else. You don't just wake up one day, declare yourself a Dom/sub/switch, and everything changes. There is lots to learn, lots to experience, and you can't do everything in one day.

For me, my journey started nearly three years ago now. It began entirely online, first with reading pretty much everything I could get my hands on, making friends, and eventually an online relationship. After about a year and a half the little voice in my head that kept saying "more!" began to get louder and louder. I wanted, needed, to venture out in the "real world". I discussed it with my o/l Dom and we decided to part ways as friends so that I could pursue a real life relationship.

I posted a profile on a BDSM dating site, and after several hundred illegible replies, and one false start I met my current Master. We have been together for over a year now, and we have "everything".... a complete vanilla relationship, and a complete BDSM one as well.

So that is my journey, in a nutshell. For me, it couldn't have happened any other way... but everyone finds their own paths. And I still continue to learn and grow every day. It took me a while to accept the submissive side of myself, but I think I have finally come to a place where the different "sides" of me can exist together with some harmony.

Good luck in finding your own way. Don't rush things, learn everything you can, and get rid of any preconceived notions you have about BDSM. It doesn't have to be "all or nothing" and just take the time to figure out what works for you.