For me, my own journey began when I was a teenager. I knew that I was kinky then and that I wanted a kinky relationship with a man who would be my Dom. All the erotica that I read focused on BDSM and then when I began to write my own in my 20s that's what I focused on. However, when I married the first time at the age of 26 I married a vanilla man. I had no idea how to find a Dom anyway. And this was long before the Internet and search engines and websites. The marriage lasted 10 years. When I divorced I decided that my next relationship would be a BDSM one.

I went online for the first time in 1998, at the age of 37. I quickly discovered the online BDSM communities and chat rooms and found myself some Doms for online play, though that never completely satisfied me. I wanted someone for real. I wanted to feel that collar around my neck and feel the lashes of the whip across my bare skin and not just imagine what it must be like. By the end of the year I had met my Master online. W/we chatted online for a year and finally met IRL in December 1999. So it took me until I was almost 40 before I finally got what I wanted.

I agree with lily that BDSM is indeed a journey. And it is one that does not end. I have now known Master for almost 10 years and W/we are always learning and growing and changing on this journey together.

Being online is different from real life, of course. The way Master and I did it was to interact in the chat room W/we met in. W/we cybered together, which, of course, is nothling like real life, but it's better than nothing. I know that some couples use voice chat and web cams in place of being together in person, but when Master and I first met, there was neither VC nor webcams in chat. And by the time they did become popular Master and I were already together IRL. Master would give me tasks to complete and I would have to tell Him about them. One thing about being online you can get emotionally involved very quickly with the other person. It sounds crazy that that can happen, but believe me, it is very true. My first online Master and I had a lot of problems and I would often sit in front of my computer screen with tears running down my face because of it. And I have worn the dreaded velcro collar before and that is no fun at all. It can really hurt when you find out the truth about the person who "collared" you online.

I thank the Goddess, though, that the Internet exists. Without it, I would have enver met my Master and I wouldn't be happy like I am today.