Quote Originally Posted by GS42 View Post
It's quite a common question around here, which isn't a surprise at all, because it's generally a question often asked: can I have the relationship I want? And I believe the answer infallibly is 'yes, you can'. That isn't a guarantee, though.

The chances of finding someone to treat you the way you want, of course depend on how common your wishes are. Maybe the most frustrating thing about this is that your guy will be asking himself the exact same question; if he were to take a random girl out, his chances of her liking to be treated like a worthless slut in the bedroom aren't that great altogether either.

But yes, you can have the relationship you dream about and long for, it would be ridiculous to say you can't. (But then again, maybe I'm too young and not cynical enough.) And I think you came to the right place to talk about this; with the way you describe yourself I wouldn't be surprised some men here will be interested.
I've found that up-front communication really helps in finding what you want... and not being so desperate that you ignore what you're hearing. (Not pretending you can be or give something that's not in you.)

Eventually you find the person you need and want who needs and wants what you have to offer. It just takes time.

That said, I empathize with those already in relationships, often with vanilla partners, who have to consider alternatives. I'm one of those myself, so it took much longer to find someone who ALSO was mindful of my desire to have both. Very few of us are both bdsm and poly it seems.