I'll just second pretty much everything Oz said.

Sure you can have it all, whatever it "all" means to you. Just realize that the more things you are looking for in a partner, the harder it might be to find the perfect person. Definitely not impossible, but you will need to have patience.

We have a 24/7 D/s relationship, but appear completley vanilla to the outside world. I wouldn't have it any other way. He listens to and respects my opinions, and I make many mundane decisions on my own.... but when he wants to have the last word, he certainly gets it.

And I am a most valuable slut in the bedroom.