i think perhaps it might help to clarify that the original poster, sexysub06, sounds (to me at least) to be talking about bedroom role-play in an otherwise vanilla relationship. Of course thats something completely different to living in a BDSM relationship. Not better or worse, just something else.

So if she gets worked up by her S.O. calling her whatever during sex, so what? Thats the definition of role play i would think- that it's pretend. It has a begining and an end and what happens in the middle is just for fun. *shrug* No biggie. It's only recreation, so if they get off on certain words.. no harm done.

That's not the case if this is the basis of a way of life however. Then words have meaning and should be used wisely and with forethought to their impact. Words become a tool to be used as appropriate because it's someone's life that's being impacted and care is required.

So... it sounds to me like there's sorta two different discussions going on at once and confusing the issue. *smile*