H&HSC Mentoring Program...

[butterflySlave4u]

Greetings Fellow Library Inhabitants...

By way of introduction, I am butterflySlave4u, but you can call me bfly for short...a lot of people do...

As you can see by my signature, i haven’t been here very long, a little over a year, but have bonded with many wonderful people. And I’m still learning my way around the forums. It’s all new stuff to me, kind of mind boggling sometimes...i’ve come to “The Life” late in life, only identifying my submissive side within the past 4 years....and the journey is ongoing...and that, dear reader, is the purpose of this post...


As I travel through the forums, i’ve seen the “Please Introduce Yourselves” threads...and many people do, it actually looks like MOST do, and that’s a good thing...but I’ve recently noticed an influx of “newbies” registering here. Mostly young people, new to “The Way”. And I have been approached by a few, asking advise, or just needing someone to talk to. And I’ve pointed them to the Hot & Horny Subs Club, but I feel that the Club isn’t enough. And so I’ve started this thread, so as to give those of us who are willing to invest the time, the opportunity to let the newer ones know that we're willing to take them under our wings and guide them through this new terrain.

Ideally, the only posts in this thread would be our wonderful bunch of subbies volunteering to help, and the subbies looking for mentoring would click on those names, and contact us by Pm....LOL!! I’ve been here long enough to know the THAT won’t work here
So it will be interesting to see how this pans out...

And if it ends up on page 477, it’ll still be here for someone searching...and maybe I’ll bump it every once in a while...

[butterflySlave4u]

....and so it only seems fair that i volunteer myself first...my name is Karen, and i'm 50 years old. Uncollared at the moment, but i have been in the past. Any questions?? PM me....

[lily27]

I am always willing to help where I can, but with a baby due in two months I can't take part in any kind of "official" mentoring relationship. I am always willing to throw out my opinion when it is asked for (and often when it isn't asked for).

I am 28 and have been in the lifestyle for the past three years or so. I have been living in a 24/7 relationship with my Master for the last year.

[icey]

i hope that anyone who is interested will take up on the offers, we've all had to start somewhere and felt nervous or foolish asking questions or talking about any concerns, i think its a lovely idea butterfly, thankyou i hope people appreciate it!

im happy to help out if i can, if anyone wants to they're more than welcome to send me a pm.

[sisterhoney61 {RW}]

I'll be glad to help any newbies in this lifestyle. I'm 47, have been in the lifestyle for almost 10 years and have been collared for the past 8 1/2 years. I started out online before it became real life. If anyone needs any help pr advice just send me a PM and I'll try all I can.

[~faerie~]

Hugs and hellos to everyone. I'm ShyGreenEyedGrl, but you can call me Shy. I am 30 and i am still relatively new to the lifestyle. This is my first Master and we have been together for 6 months. It started out here online and then on the phone, and now we are r/l. I am ever inquisitive and i would love to be a part of this. I may not have all the answers, but ask away!

[Tojo]

[angelic.zest]

ive always liked the idea of a mentoring program...when i first joined the library they had a simular system in the chat and i was paired up with someone who was a doll and we are to this day still friends and best budes and she tells me when im fucking up and i do the same for her.. and i would so be willing to help out anyone who needs answers and if i dont know them then i will ask

Didra 25, owned female still new but learning as i go along feel free to Pm if u have questions

[butterflySlave4u]

cuz it's important.......

[thrall]

im always happy to help.......just give me a shout.

[Isabelle90]

Wow!! This is fantastic! Great idea bfly!!! We should all try to bump this one on occasion so that others will know who's out there offering mentorship!

[butterflySlave4u]

i agree totally, Isabelle....it's important for the newer ones to know we're here....

[thrall]

Wow!! This is fantastic! Great idea bfly!!! We should all try to bump this one on occasion so that others will know who's out there offering mentorship!

lol...........yes i agree......lol

[DowntownAmber]

Heck, I'm always willing to throw in my two cents...

Amber, 29, in the Lifestyle r/l for just over a year now.

[bellelapine]

I'll probably ask a LOT more questions than I ever answer, but since I'm anything but shy or modest....if I ask maybe someone too shy to will get the answer? teeehee.

[butterflySlave4u]

bellelapine you need to come hang out at the H&HSC!! we have chocolate!

[bellelapine]

You said chocolate? I luffffffffffffffffsssssssssssssssss chocolate...it is my precious.

*is the fact I said that in gollum's voice a bad sign?*

[butterflySlave4u]

[Tojo]

If I may make a comment.....

This is a great idea IMO- I don't believe I or any Dom can 'train' someone to be a submissive. A D/s relationship is a special bond between two people, who make their own rules.

I can talk to a new sub, ask questions & listen to her thoughts- however, so can other subs. It makes perfect sense for new girls to talk to & listen to other subs.

They know just as much about it as any Dom, & are much less likely to be blowing their own trumpets, or wanting a good time before you're ready.

[butterflySlave4u]

i agree totally, Tojo, and thank You for weighing in, after all, this is a forum!!

While I know that the term “training” is appropriate, i think it’s more of setting limits, between two people. IMHO “submissive” can’t be taught, it’s felt. It’s “within” you. i know that i’m submissive, and have been from a very early age. But i wasn’t able to identify it as such until a wonderful man found me in a vanilla chatroom and opened up my world. NOW i have somewhere that i fit in, and i know my place, my station in life, and i’ll always be grateful to Him for that.

and it's true, there are many here that are new to the Life. Sometimes it scares me, knowing how many young subs are wandering around in here, falling for a line (in print) that they'd never consider listening to in a bar! And what they're looking for HERE is SO much more of a commitment than a one night stand.

also, the number of wannabes, ESPECIALLY in here, wanting to "try it out", and coming in to kick the tires. i had a young dom (note the lack of capitalization) ask me the other day if it would be ok to call me "mommy", because of my age....well, one, we were no where close to entering into a roleplay....two, this was about 4 minutes in, of our FIRST contact, and third, i knew NOTHING about the guy (and i'm assuming it was male, as IT wasn't terribly forthcoming with the info!) And as i laughed and walked away, leaving him with his “throbbing babyhood” in his hand, it occurred to me that if i was less experienced than i am at weeding out the the twits, if i hadn't known that something THAT stupid could happen, i'd be back there breastfeeding him right now! LOL!........but the truth is, it DOES happen, and our subbies need to be aware of it...this place is not a meat market, it's where like minded people meet to converse, share ideas, and possibly connect, and they need to know that.

[bellelapine]

I think that D/s relationships and interactions can be like any other type of attempt at finding "the one" ( or "the many" depending on your preference)...you're going to have those who think about one thing.
Not that Doms shouldn't think of themselves but to me part of being a collared sub is to have a Sir that looks after me, makes sure I am caring for myself so I can better serve Him. He makes sure I'm as well taken care of as He is (if not more because a happy pet is a good pet). A sub can be more demanding than a Dom in some cases because some of us have had such a rough go of life itself or have needs that "just any Dom" can't fulfill.
Like any lifestyle choice (be it religion, philosophy, BDSM, ect...) you'll have your share of snakes and your share of mongooses. It's finding the mongoose(s) that makes it all the better.


admittedly i'm on a rikki tikki tavi kick

[butterflySlave4u]

I think that D/s relationships and interactions can be like any other type of attempt at finding "the one" ( or "the many" depending on your preference)...you're going to have those who think about one thing.
Not that Doms shouldn't think of themselves but to me part of being a collared sub is to have a Sir that looks after me, makes sure I am caring for myself so I can better serve Him. He makes sure I'm as well taken care of as He is (if not more because a happy pet is a good pet). A sub can be more demanding than a Dom in some cases because some of us have had such a rough go of life itself or have needs that "just any Dom" can't fulfill.
Like any lifestyle choice (be it religion, philosophy, BDSM, ect...) you'll have your share of snakes and your share of mongooses. It's finding the mongoose(s) that makes it all the better.

i agree totally belle, and that's why the young ones need the mentoring to begin with....to weed out the snakes

[gemmy]

A long time ago when I was first new to letting my subbie side finally breath and have a life, it terrified me to talk to anyone. I sat back and read and read and read. I had a Domly type tell me I should go on the sites and meet other subbies and talk to them to learn.

Scared out of my mind, I freaked out at him - "Are you kidding!?! I have no experience, no knowledge, no basis, they'll just laugh me out of any chatroom or site. No way!!"

I had no idea that experienced subbies have been in a new subs shoes, remember all the trepidation, the fear, the doubt that a new sub goes through. I also had no idea how wonderfully kind they are and are happily willing to share their experiences with you to help teach you and keep you from harm of the wannabes.

It still took me about a year to come around and start talking to these 'wonderous' subs who live the life and know well what it's all about and how hard it really can be. I have since mentored a few and am happy I've been able to contribute back what was once given to me.

All of these ladies posting and offering their help are amazing and worth taking up on their offer

[butterflySlave4u]

..........

[stripedangel]

OK, so we all know where i stand at this moment...mentor me, if you like, in what you see i'm lacking...

otherwise, i'm willing to add to the perspective if i can. i'm 35, and have been round the lifestyle for about 4 years. in r/l M/s relationship for about 6 months.

just PM.....

[stripedangel]

A long time ago when I was first new to letting my subbie side finally breath and have a life, it terrified me to talk to anyone. I sat back and read and read and read. I had a Domly type tell me I should go on the sites and meet other subbies and talk to them to learn.

Scared out of my mind, I freaked out at him - "Are you kidding!?! I have no experience, no knowledge, no basis, they'll just laugh me out of any chatroom or site. No way!!"

I had no idea that experienced subbies have been in a new subs shoes, remember all the trepidation, the fear, the doubt that a new sub goes through. I also had no idea how wonderfully kind they are and are happily willing to share their experiences with you to help teach you and keep you from harm of the wannabes.

It still took me about a year to come around and start talking to these 'wonderous' subs who live the life and know well what it's all about and how hard it really can be. I have since mentored a few and am happy I've been able to contribute back what was once given to me.

All of these ladies posting and offering their help are amazing and worth taking up on their offer

LOL! ...and here you are, giving some of the best advice i've seen. i've said it before and i'll say it again, you're a gem!

[Alessa]

in r/l M/s relationship for about 6 months.

just PM.....

Hello! My name is Alessa, I am 21 and a noob as it were to the bdsm scene.

Firstly, what does r/l mean?

And secondly, because I am new I am not really all that up to snuff with protocol or certain daily things a submissive does so if anyone can give me any pointers, it would be much appreciated.

[~faerie~]

Hello! My name is Alessa, I am 21 and a noob as it were to the bdsm scene.

Firstly, what does r/l mean?

And secondly, because I am new I am not really all that up to snuff with protocol or certain daily things a submissive does so if anyone can give me any pointers, it would be much appreciated.

r/l is real life...as opposed to o/l online.
As for daily things...it all depends on you and your Master/Mistress if you have one, or the one you will find. Figure out what you like and go from there.

Check out the rest of the forums there is so much info on here it can be a little overwhelming. Take your time to explore. Check out the chat room...don't be shy no one will bite...or maybe they will. *grins*

Don't be afaid to pm (private message) any one of us or any one of the moderators. we are all here to learn and grow.

Welcome!

Shy

[denuseri]

so true so true, if any sub ever needs anything they need but ask, i am allways willing to help, heck a couple times i even train some doms,, though ive noticed dommes ussually dont seem to need any pointers funny huh?, anyway, i hope yu find the answers yur looking for, and remember , yur fellow sub sistas, are here to help,
wellcum to the site

[butterflySlave4u]

r/l is real life...as opposed to o/l online.
As for daily things...it all depends on you and your Master/Mistress if you have one, or the one you will find. Figure out what you like and go from there.

Check out the rest of the forums there is so much info on here it can be a little overwhelming. Take your time to explore. Check out the chat room...don't be shy no one will bite...or maybe they will. *grins*

Don't be afaid to pm (private message) any one of us or any one of the moderators. we are all here to learn and grow.

Welcome!

Shy

*grins*

Look at you bein' all "not shy" and stuff!! Good for you, sweetie!!!

and absolutely, denuseri, i'd forgotten all about the moderators!! it's their jobs to guide ALL of us, and Alessa, if THEY can't help, they can find someone who can!

Karen