This is much better. Now the story has an opening, it builds steadily up towards the ‘what “Dopey” was seeing’ and has a climax and a closing line.

Slow, lingering and very descriptive narrative style matches the subject of the story. It does get faster as you approach the climax and you could streamline it even more. We feel his breathlessness, his anticipation. Nice choice of details. I like how he feels that she has ‘done it to him’.

There is too much of ‘well-endowed’ and ‘well-blessed’. It gets redundant.

At the end – is he frustrated or just happy to wait for another occasion?

Well done.