
Originally Posted by
ashtonDs
ChainsOfGonzo, so we're "a little late," I don't hear any complaining.
I thought about this a while before responding and I'm still a little bit unsure of my answer but...
Being a Dom/me is not only about the Dom/me, (Oh, I hope I don't get into trouble here.) just as being a sub is not only about the sub. If you are in a relationship (as opposed to someone who only finds temporary play partners) the whole thing is about what happens between you and your partner, not just what happens in your own head, (or on your own behind) ~giggle~ sorry couldn't resist that.
It is quite possible that even a diehard sub could top and top well if they realize that they are giving their bottom the best experience possible. It is also quite possible that a switch is not the best person to answer this question. But still, I am mainly on the submissive side and don't have a "dominant" personality, whatever that is. When I think of topping the thing that turns me on is peeling my partner off the ceiling when everything is over. As a day to day Dom I would have a little more trouble.
When all is said and done, all healthy people have some of the "other" in us. A man no matter how "manly" still has what some would call a feminine side and a woman has a bit of a masculine side. That ultimately allows us to appreciate the other's point of view.
A total sub would be a doormat, literally, if he or she didn't have enough selfishness in their heart to use a safeword or even to leave a situation if it became dangerous.
An absolute Dom/me without a bit of empathy would be a total cold-hearted tyrant and who would want to bottom for someone like that (outside of a character in a story)?
This is on it's face a simple question. When you get down and examine it it's a lot more complicated.