I've found that as time goes on, it gets more and more difficult for me to enjoy sex without some aspect of BDSM. If i'm with someone who is 100% vanilla, i try to enjoy it for what it is, but it's not what i prefer. And i can't orgasm without including some BDSM. If i'm masturbating, my fantasies are all about submission and pain. But i can enjoy a scene without sex; granted, i usually end up dripping, but i still enjoy it without sexual contact.