Quote Originally Posted by J-Go View Post
My grandmother used to say "Don't be so open minded your empty headed" It took me a long time to really understand what that meant. As I got older I understood that the meaning was “know your boundaries.” This has been a fascinating discussion on boundaries, some people have the ability to extend to multiple simultaneous relationships some don’t. From these posts it’s obvious that not every one sees poly the same way, I guess it would be a damn short boring thread if we did.
So here is an opinion to ponder. Polyamorous is indeed a life style however there is also polyamorous action that has nothing to do with being in a poly lifestyle.
It’s very common to be in a committed singular relationship and engage in polyamorous activity. For example, I meet a friend…an old girlfriend for sake of argument, we have a few beers and kiss passionately before saying good night…”great to see you again, bye” no sex. I have just engaged in an amorous activity with another i.e. I have given amour to another, I have engaged in an activity that shows affection beyond a hand shake shall we say. OK all, morally where am I? Did I violate my committed relationship with a kiss? Or is it only a violation if it’s kept a secret? Or is it a violation if the action hurts the one I’m committed to?
Alright all, bring on the opinions!
First to say > I like Your GrandMothers saying. It rings so True to me. And it makes Honest and Good sense <soft smiles>.

Nextly on the questions; I would have to say this> You and Your Partner(s) Know eachother, and what Your Agreements in, and expectations of, that relationship are. So You likely Know where Your Morality is, whether or not You violated anything (likely before You did so if You are Real Honest about this), whether or not a secret is a violation, or whether what You do will hurt Your Partner. If You make Agreements and set Bounderies with someone and then break them You Know that.

A Real Kicker to me in these things is PPL who make Agreements and set Bounderies for their Relationship(s) with their Partner(s), and then just break the Spirit of those Agreements and Bounderies. IE tell lies of ommission, look for loopholes (like attorney's do). Seemingly keeping the Agreements and Bounderies, when they Really Aren't, ya know?

Respectfully~SidheWolf