I don't really enjoy vanilla sex. I have to make it more exciting in my head. I can take bondage without the sex, and I love them both together, but sex without bondage or force or SOME element of bdsm just doesn't do it for me...

Quote Originally Posted by fetishdj View Post
One question to add to this thread: Do any of you find it more difficult to have sex without a BDSM element to it? In terms of actual difficulty in achieving orgasm? I say this because that is the psychological definition of a fetish - something which the person who has the fetish cannot achieve sexual gratification without. Which of course differs from the more mainstream definition.

That's an interesting question...and yes, the mainstream definition is very different, isn't it? Does that mean that many people who consider themselves to have fetishes don't actually have them?