Out of boredom I shall answer your little questionnaire here...

1) Are you a sub? (Good thinking-eh? That should save some time!)
Sub sandwich

2) Are you m/f? m+f? Uncertain? Neither.
F for fruity. Or floja, which is “loose” in Spanish. Sorry, Spanish dictionary right next to me, I don’t know why either.

3) Do you enjoy answering questions?
Obviously if I am answering these

4) Is age important to you?
Definitely not

5) How old are you?
Barely legal. Young enough to be your daughter or (perhaps) granddaughter.

6) Where did you learn kick boxing?
Korea

7) Can I have my teeth back?
No. I believe they’re my teeth now.

8) Do you like to be spanked?
Only by someone with nice hands, that excludes your old man hands, sorry.
Just kidding, gangsta.

9) What's your favourite implement?
Hello Kitty vibrator. So cute!

10) Any strong views on the use of rhubarb?
Yes. Only on Wednesday and absolutely never on Friday.

11) Do you like to wear sexy clothes?
I like to wear sexy men.

12) Do you like to take off clothes?
No, I always wear clothes, even in the shower.

13) See Q6
See answer for Q6

14) Do you enjoy age play?
Yes. But with our ages it’s more reality than play, sir.

15) Do you enjoy punitive treatment?
Of course

16) What about blow jobs?
See Q69.

17) See Q7
See Spot run.

18) Are your nipples particularly sensitive?
Very

19) Is your clit particularly sensitive? (Here of course I assume sub is f)
Ohh yes

20) Big lad, your boyfriend, is he particularly sensitive?
No, he beats up children.

21) Do you prefer rope; chain; straps or scarves?
Chain

22) OK. Now will you untie me?
Only if you say pweese

23) Will you at least leave me the bus fare?
No, and I think that’s fair. (oh my god – genius right there.)