I'm very pleased to see this thread popping up. Perhaps I've read a little to many threads about the so-called 'perfect sub' (and strangely not as often about the 'perfect dom'...) and I find it quite refreshing to read something about the not so glorious realities of daily life kink.

I haven’t taken the big step into ‘real life’ as yet. I’m only just getting started but as I’m getting closer to ‘reality’ I also have to get more realistic about what I could actually offer, and what I could live with, in the kind of relationship that I seek.

I couldn’t be a perfect dom all of the time. Heck, I don’t even ‘get’ the whole striving for perfection in the first place. At least not in the sense of striving for some commonly recognized image of perfection like the ‘good dom’. I think I might actually settle for being the perfect ‘me’ instead!

I have my weak moments as well, I have many weaknesses, some of them blatant, some very ordinary and some a bit out of the ordinary as well. Sometimes I am anything but strong, self-assured, calm, or any of the other things fitting in that ‘perfect dom’ image. Some times I’m quite sure I’d be in the mood for anything but being dominant.

I don’t want a submissive that I have to hide this from. I do not want someone with whom I have to keep on a ‘game-face’ when I’m feeling weak, insecure, or just to darn annoyed and tired of anything to be her ever-strong ‘master’. I want a submissive that I can relax with, that I can be myself with, all off the time and that probably means not being ‘in role’ all of the time or at least not trying to force each other into fitting the rosy picture of dominance and submission all of the time.

I want to give all of ‘me’ to my submissive and I think she deserves all of me. I think my partner deserves a whole person, someone with strengths and weaknesses, someone willing to share both his good sides and his bad and his plain annoying sides with her. And I want a real partner as well. Someone who’s not just giving me ‘the perfect submissive’-image (or whatever other perfect image society or some subculture projects to us), I want more! – more than an ‘image’, a polished ‘façade’ or some dream she’s trying to project upon our lives. I want a real person. Someone who’s grumpy in the mornings sometimes, makes mistakes, shouts at me and others from time to time, acts childish and also has her moments of complete beauty, love, humor and smoking-hot submission now and again.

I want all of it. Maybe I’m demanding but then again, I’m dominant.

The I