Quote Originally Posted by sidhewolf View Post
Very True Amber! Without Honest Open Communication, no Relationship of any Style really works does it?

On paragraph 2 of your post; And just clarifying meaning here; Telling someone one is Poly is not open field to simply do whatever with whomever whenever....unless that is a part of the Relationship Agreement. IE Declaring oneself as Poly does no more explain what that is to someone else, than declaring oneself as a candy addict. Poly means different things to different people. If I declare myself a candy addict, does that tell someone else that when I am going to the candy store that I mean to buy and eat All the candy in the store? Many times in the scenerio you mention here the problem is not about the Poly person relating to another person, its a lack of Communication and Openess about that. Too many people think declaring themselves Poly is a good excuse to lie and cheat the Relationship(s) they have. And when there is problems about that, they want to fall back on "Well I told you I am Poly". Of course a large part of that problem is about Communication too. When someone tells you they are Poly, it is Real Important to ask "What is Poly to you?". There are so many configurations that this is vital information to have.

Here's another good link;

http://www.xeromag.com/making_relationships_suck.pdf

Respectfully~SidheWolf
Indeed - I simplified for the sake of saving myself having to type more, but you're right that it is important to understand what poly means when you are either telling someone you are poly or hearing it from a partner. Definitions are key.

And now since we're back on the subject of communication, I'm going to switch gears just slightly and throw out another one of my pet communication peeves: "don't ask don't tell." I've played with that one before and it's always something that seems like a good idea at the time but always ends up biting someone in the proverbial ass.

Thoughts?