I too have always been this way, but only just realized what I wanted two years ago. I can't say that I had fantasies as a child about being controlled, but I gravitated towards people who controlled me. I always ever only had one or maybe two friends who always took the lead in any activities we did. I spent my entire youth being led around by one person or another (all my age though). I always envisioned relationships to be where I took care of the other person. Did the laundry and cooking and basically whatever I was told in order to make the other person happy. I wonder sometimes if my submissiveness stems from a desire to be controlled or from a desire to be pleasing to the other person. Hmmm does that even make sense?