*nods a lot* I thought it was self-preservation. Afterwards, I realized that I'd preserved myself alright. The only thing is that my grand plan didn't spare me any of the hurt I was so afraid of. I broke my own heart. Silly me! I'm so thankful that I appear to be getting a second chance, and this time, I'm going to give it my all because if it doesn't work out I'd rather know that I did all I could do than wonder what if.