How'd you meet your Dom?

[Pearlgem]

In real life? NOT on line?? The mind boggles at the chances of that happening to me...

(No known radar for picking up Domly vibes, no idea if I give off sub ones)

[shayna{L_D}]

In real life? NOT on line?? The mind boggles at the chances of that happening to me...

In real life its a lot harder, you have to put yourself out there, and its a 50 50 shot. Believe me its happened to me before, where i had a boyfriend ( i actually still work with him *Sighs*) and i had to tell him, 'look i want you to tie me up, spank me and call me a dirty slut" he didnt take it to lightly.. I didnt say it in that way but that was what i was thinking lol. I was embaressed becuase he thought i was weird, and or strange. So i broke up with him a few months later becuase he didnt take heed to my advice. I cannot have a vanilla relationship anymore, it just doesnst work. *shrugs* that god for internet!

[guest010609]

In real life its a lot harder, you have to put yourself out there, and its a 50 50 shot. Believe me its happened to me before, where i had a boyfriend ( i actually still work with him *Sighs*) and i had to tell him, 'look i want you to tie me up, spank me and call me a dirty slut" he didnt take it to lightly.. I didnt say it in that way but that was what i was thinking lol. I was embaressed becuase he thought i was weird, and or strange. So i broke up with him a few months later becuase he didnt take heed to my advice. I cannot have a vanilla relationship anymore, it just doesnst work. *shrugs* that god for internet!

I agree, it is a tough conversation to have in r/l. And usually it ends badly. Before my Master and I got together, I had confessed my desires to 3 previous boyfriends, and a few "would-bes". You're right- they all looked at me like I was a wacko. (This was between the ages of 13-18, btw.) Because of my honesty with the first boyfriend at 13, I was outed to my entire jr/sr high school AND all the faculty AND my parents, their spouses, my grandparents etc. It was a nightmare. BUT- even taking ALL that into consideration, I still think meeting in r/l rather than the internet is best. When you meet a person online, 9x out of 10, the most discussed topics before becoming a couple are relating to sex, s&m, D/s, etc. There is often little to the relationship except those aspects. I am only speaking from my experience here, but my experience really is considerable because all of our poly relationships and many, many could-have-been poly relationships started online. Even though we always made it a policy to try to get to know the girls beyond these levels, AND even though we quickly progressed from online to r/l with them, the relationships were very shallow and hollow by comparison to the relationship my Master and I share. I don't mean to upset anyone or be judgemental of other peoples' relationships. I just feel that the internet is NOT all it's cracked up to be when trying to establish anything more than a friendship. Even then, it's chance-y. JMHO.

[shayna{L_D}]

I still think meeting in r/l rather than the internet is best. When you meet a person online, 9x out of 10, the most discussed topics before becoming a couple are relating to sex, s&m, D/s, etc. There is often little to the relationship except those aspects. I am only speaking from my experience here, but my experience really is considerable because all of our poly relationships and many, many could-have-been poly relationships started online.

Jsyk, you didnt upset me or hurt my feelings. I am with someone now, who i met from the library, we started as best friends. We talk about other things other then D/s and s&m. Our relationship does not revole around Bdsm in the slighest. Do we talk about it? Yes. Are we D/s? When needed, as in we dont go out the house shoving it in others faces' lol. We are like a normal couple, we talk about other things then D/s, or bdsm. I am sorry you were called out in front of the people you wanted to hide it form the most, that can always be hard. But i do kinda of agree that most o/l relationship that grow into r/l relationship could revolve around just D/s, but for me and him its different. like i said before we are normal, we do normal things lol. I also know plenty of people from this library that have gone from o/l to r/l that are in normal healthy relationships where there whole relationship isnt tetering on D/s.

[guest010609]

Jsyk, you didnt upset me or hurt my feelings. I am with someone now, who i met from the library, we started as best friends. We talk about other things other then D/s and s&m. Our relationship does not revole around Bdsm in the slighest. Do we talk about it? Yes. Are we D/s? When needed, as in we dont go out the house shoving it in others faces' lol. We are like a normal couple, we talk about other things then D/s, or bdsm. I am sorry you were called out in front of the people you wanted to hide it form the most, that can always be hard. But i do kinda of agree that most o/l relationship that grow into r/l relationship could revolve around just D/s, but for me and him its different. like i said before we are normal, we do normal things lol. I also know plenty of people from this library that have gone from o/l to r/l that are in normal healthy relationships where there whole relationship isnt tetering on D/s.

I'm very happy that your relationship sounds very solid and diverse! To be honest, this particular website has an exceptionally different "feel" to it that other sites I have frequented. Thus I have reason to think that perhaps your relationship may not even be the exception to the rule- for ppl who meet here. There are a few sites though (not wanting to name names here) where the relationships have a huge, copious failure rate. As I said though, perhaps the ratio is better here due to the very nature of this site being so different from others. Maybe because it is a site built around literature, writing, communication and linguistics, as opposed to sites that are built around personal ads and just happen to have forums. I don't know... anyway, thank you for your reply!

[Pearlgem]

To be honest, this particular website has an exceptionally different "feel" to it that other sites I have frequented. Maybe because it is a site built around literature, writing, communication and linguistics, as opposed to sites that are built around personal ads and just happen to have forums.

Don't have experience of other sites to say for sure, MB, but that's a very good point you make. Like many others, I was an inveterate story reader on here long before I joined. Also, you are allowed generous access to the site without being a member at all, especially to the forums where you can learn a great deal. Oh, but the joy when you finally (and incredibly easily) join up and get to meet the 'stars' in chat and you can join in!
But you're right, MB, there is a great deal going on here above and beyond 'just' BDSM which gives it a real feeling of community.

Sorry to go off topic a bit.