Fear, stupidity or something else

[Lisais mine]

It's rude to just hand someone you don't know an instrument of torture and expect them to use it. It is a violtation of the girl on the table too, in my opinion. It's the dom's duty to protect their sub, is it not? that's part of it for me at least.

[lucy]

I see it exactly like rachel, i think i would have bolted for the door too. IMO that Dom should have taken you aside and asked how you feel about it and given you some time to think it over.

[tina2008]

When I'm invited to a birthday party, be it kink folk or not, I expect the usual birthday party theme. Was there any indication that the invite was for a birthday/kink party? I'm submissive and other than giving one or two birthday "taps" I doubt that I would want to paddle another submissive.

My reaction would probably have been the same; head for the door PDQ as this wasn't consensual.

If you feel you overreacted and are embarrassed, prior to attending another munch, etc., I would contact the submissive and let her know you were caught off guard. Perhaps she can express this to others who may have felt "your" behavior was rude or odd and you guys will get over this.

I wish you the best.

[Ozme52]

It's rude to just hand someone you don't know an instrument of torture and expect them to use it. It is a violtation of the girl on the table too, in my opinion. It's the dom's duty to protect their sub, is it not? that's part of it for me at least.

Not really, not at a birthday party... even vanillas often do this. One of the reasons I love going to birthday parties.

Not if the Dom spent weeks teasing his sub about getting spanked ahead of time.

And he was no doubt prepared to monitor the proceedings to make sure any paddler didn't go overboard.

I think that the invitation should have included a "Kinky Agenda" but... lacking that, a spanking/paddling of a submissive birthday girl is to be expected.

I think the advice, in general, is good.

A simple refusal, "no thank-you" would have sufficed.
A future, semi-contrite, explanation of what happened will salve any concern of the other attendees (and by semi-contrite, not that chalsia need say she was wrong for refusing, just enough contrition at her own over-reaction, no more or less than she showed in her post.)