"So I figure I am commited to submitting to a special person, not to being a slave itself..."

I think that while I have a genuinely submissive side, not everyone is going to stimulate that response in me...just as I do not fall in love with every attractive man or woman I meet, so I would not submit to anyone just cos they are dominant and I enjoy being submissive...for me it is about submitting to a special person, who makes me WANT to give everything to them just for the joy of pleasing them...

To find a real Master involves a rare connection and a meeting of the minds, someone that genuinely makes you wish to give yourself to them because you know they will cherish you, push you, break you and rebuild you....for the better. But that is not going to happen every time in O/L or R/L (btw my relationship started O/L and moved to R/L)

It does not matter whether it is in O/L or R/L and should not make you question the legitimacy of your submissive feelings...but if you find O/L difficult you may be someone that needs physical intimacy, control and reinforcement to give you the strength to embrace your full submissive side...nothing wrong with that, and doesn't mean you aren't a 'real slave'...you just may need different things from your relationship than you are getting from O/L at the moment...

We're all different and thats what makes this all so amazing and beautiful!

good luck!

xxx