sorry - i rambled on with the below response... my thoughts for what they are worth...

Belgarold, i agree there is nothing wrong with explaining... explaining one's self when asked for clarification is generally considered to be courteous behaviour. i certainly didn't intend to spark such a riot of off-topic comments about acronym definition, and was in no way showing off superiority. nor do i believe that of anyone else in this thread.

i (as a complete and utter newbie last Autumn) read and learned about the lifestyle, and knew of SSC and RACK from that early reading. i would hope any newbie would seek to read and learn about common aspects of it too. this is a pretty fundamental aspect to the lifestyle, i believe.

and i would humbly assert that it is quite feasible for a new sub to ask for rape as an exciting experience - it is a common fantasy (i have discovered). that in no way compares with an innocent getting themselves into a situation they regret - this is not BDSM but possibly foolhardiness on the sub's part, and abuse on the perpetrator's part.

...but a good subject - this is the intent of the the thread!

...to ask for people to point out that one can get carried away in a moment, and do things they later regret, or that could have gone very badly, but for the grace of god (sic!).

...and this is where mark2777's post should be considered carefully. it takes time to build up the necessary high regard and trust for one's partner, and i feel that this should not be rushed, otherwise one is taking huge risks. a good friend of mine uses the motto "Love, Trust, Submit" to illustrate one route to submission that minimises the chance of regretting one's involvement with someone.

he explains to me that one must take time to know someone, letting that high regard develop for their integrity and character (perhaps one can use the word "Love" for this). in time a sense of trust develops and grows stronger with numerous subtle tests and evidence of integrity and perhaps devotion...
as this trust deepens we each reach a point of certainty, that this person is what they seem, that we know that with certainty. and this (my good friend asserts, and i agree) is the better path to submission than rushing or taking chances with unknown quantities.

of course i am interested in the ambivalence when a sub wants the excitement of submitting early to someone when the hormones are raging, but wants to minimise risk... risk can be arousing! how do we learn to strike that balance? what mistakes do we make along the way?...