I think your forgetting that fantasy and real life are not even closely related.
In my perfect world, I make mistakes, and my slave is there to help me not make them. She has needs, and does her best to let me know what they are. I don't read minds, and neither does she so communication is an absolute requirement. Our fantasies are our playground, not things untangible notions never to be realized. We complement each other, her desire to serve, my desire to be served done as best two people can.
The things you listed seem more from a book found in the fantasy erotica section than anything else.