Any advice would be appreciated

[fetishdj]

It may be worth looking into emergency release systems to put her at her ease. It may not feel 'like bondage' to you if she can escape at any time but you can see it as a physical equivilent to a safeword - she can only use it when it is an emergency.

Check self bondage sites for hints on how a sub who is tied in certain ways can get out quickly. Make sure there is a sharp knife where she can reach it to cut ropes in an emergency. Use velcro fastening bondage cuffs that she can pull out of easily. Get a pair of 'quick release hand cuffs'.

Another thing that may put her at her ease is if you go to a doctor and have regular checks on your heart (which you may be having already). Tell him that you are engaging in hard physical activity (which BDSM is, most of the time) and want a check to make sure you are ok for it. You can also look at health, fitness and diet in general - get him to suggest a regime which is suitable for you to maintain a healthy enough body to minimise the risks in the future.

The main concern is that, once the heart starts going wrong, it is more likely to keep going wrong. You can manage it with diet, exercise and drugs to minimise the risk but you cannot eliminate the risk altogether. Frankly, any of us, at any time, can have a heart attack no matter what your fitness or age but you are now in a high risk category and her fears are not unjustified.

[Midnytedreams]

Being a professional firefighter all my life, I never feared death, I actually found firefighting boring, so I joined a national Heavy tactical rescue team. I knew death could come at anytime. Guess this is my problem not hers, just feel that when my time to go{die}, my time. Don't want to sit around thinking about dying,

Yes I have bought self release gear, velcro and such, also magicians handcuffs. There is no changing her mind she wont even talk about it, so communication doesn't work. Went to see a therapist{counselor}, He said I was in denial,showed me something called Maslows hierarcy of needs, and the stages of acceptance. Told him that I wasn't going to die, but I was not going to sit there waiting for it.

My little one came from a poor broken ,family She stated in the session that she was finally happy, not having to worry,until this happened. Now all she does is worry.

I go to cardiac rehab three times a week, I have had dietary, and healthy living classes. I dont smoke, or drink, my weight is proportunial to height.

I have made sure my little one will never have to worry about money. Its hard when you feel your little one reach out and run her fingers down the scar that runs from neck all the way down your chest, in the middle of the night, crying when she thinks I'm asleep.

Thanks for all the advice you have given, just needed to let it out

[Carpe Coma]

That's valuable context. Most people don't have that relaxed a view about death, especially when it comes to people they care about. How long has it been since the last incident? If it's only been a month or two, then this is still very fresh for her. She probably needs more time in that case.

Is this the first time someone she cared about had a brush with death? She could still be in a bit of emotional shock from it. You may not be focused on it, but she still is. You've got a stark reminder of your mortality stenciled on your chest. That's something that will take some time to get past. While she is getting past it, don't push too hard or she'll just close up more.

In short, you have to be able to get into her head and see things the way she does in order to know what the next steps are. It sounds like she needs assurance, so your advised course of action is to find out how to provide that. That's going to be a lot harder as she is unwilling to talk about it. How are your soft skills? Can you get her to expound on what she is worried about? Does she have any close friends or family that she confides to? (not suggesting you pump them for information, just wondering about her emotional support structure).

Don't start taking the blame for it. It's a problem for both of you, as neither of you are happy as things are. At the same time, it's not anyone's fault either. The two of you just have different coping processes, and they aren't compatible in this case.

[Wiscoman]

It may be worth looking into emergency release systems to put her at her ease. It may not feel 'like bondage' to you if she can escape at any time but you can see it as a physical equivilent to a safeword - she can only use it when it is an emergency.

Good thinking. You might consider rope bondage using a half-bow knot. It's pretty easy to tie. Basically, you start it in a halfknot, over and under like you start a square, the loop one of the ends over and finish it like a square -- under, then over. This leaves a loop one one side. If you pull the rope leading to the loop, the whole knot collapses. So you can untie it with only one hand. Otherwise, it's as solid and fast as a square knot. I found a diagram here. The only thing I'd add to this would be tying a knot in the running end or "ripcord" so she can't accidentally pull out the loop the wrong way -- then you'd have an actual square knot.

Just make sure she can reach her "ripcord" and she'll be able to get out of pretty much anything, assuming it's not extremely elaborate.

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ETA: I took a closer look at the army halfbow and see it's not the knot I'd remembered. Still, the one in the diagram looks easy to tie and should work just as well.In