Being a professional firefighter all my life, I never feared death, I actually found firefighting boring, so I joined a national Heavy tactical rescue team. I knew death could come at anytime. Guess this is my problem not hers, just feel that when my time to go{die}, my time. Don't want to sit around thinking about dying,

Yes I have bought self release gear, velcro and such, also magicians handcuffs. There is no changing her mind she wont even talk about it, so communication doesn't work. Went to see a therapist{counselor}, He said I was in denial,showed me something called Maslows hierarcy of needs, and the stages of acceptance. Told him that I wasn't going to die, but I was not going to sit there waiting for it.

My little one came from a poor broken ,family She stated in the session that she was finally happy, not having to worry,until this happened. Now all she does is worry.

I go to cardiac rehab three times a week, I have had dietary, and healthy living classes. I dont smoke, or drink, my weight is proportunial to height.

I have made sure my little one will never have to worry about money. Its hard when you feel your little one reach out and run her fingers down the scar that runs from neck all the way down your chest, in the middle of the night, crying when she thinks I'm asleep.

Thanks for all the advice you have given, just needed to let it out