Women on one knee

[Thorne]

I didn't go the traditional route, and no, my wife didn't propose to me. It became evident, after months of dating, that we were going to get married. We both realized it, and we were both ready for it. I took her to the jeweler to select the ring she wanted, rather than risk buying something that she wouldn't care for, something that's always plagued me to this day. So there was never a formal proposal, just a mutual understanding.

I've often wondered, though, whether that isn't the way it should be. If a woman is surprised by her boyfriend's proposal, or if he's not absolutely sure of her response, isn't there something lacking in their relationship? Perhaps they don't know each other as well as they think they do?

I recall watching a news report about a guy who proposed in the middle of a basketball court during halftime, and the woman refused him! I wanted to cheer for that woman, for not caving in to the pressure of the moment and speaking from her heart. If he could put her into that kind of position, under pressure in front of thousands of strangers, what else might he be capable of?

Boy, I can really tear apart a romantic moment, can't I?

[thir]

So there was never a formal proposal, just a mutual understanding.

I've often wondered, though, whether that isn't the way it should be. If a woman is surprised by her boyfriend's proposal, or if he's not absolutely sure of her response, isn't there something lacking in their relationship? Perhaps they don't know each other as well as they think they do?

I think you have a point here, and that in most cases maybe it goes as you say, it is a mutual understanding. Seems resonable. Maybe the proposal custum came from times when people did not really know each other first?

I recall watching a news report about a guy who proposed in the middle of a basketball court during halftime, and the woman refused him! I wanted to cheer for that woman, for not caving in to the pressure of the moment and speaking from her heart. If he could put her into that kind of position, under pressure in front of thousands of strangers, what else might he be capable of?

Boy, I can really tear apart a romantic moment, can't I?

I agree! It seems an enormous pressure to put on someone.

[damyanti]

I find anyone going down on one knee ridiculous, it looks cheesy and tacky and if I see someone doing that I am bound to laugh. It is a cheap stunt from someone who cant bring themselves to do or say something original and sincere.

And this whole business that it has to be a man who proposes is...well, rubbish. If the relationship is true, if the bond is real and the sentiment and commitment are there, its irrelevant who does it. Its the moment that counts, its mutual. But here is why women prefer men to propose...most relationships, especially vanilla ones, are less sincere than it is politically correct to say, there is rarely security of being on the same page so if a woman proposed she would always wonder if he married her because he really wanted to or because it was convenient for him to say yes. Plus, there is that childish tarty game of playing hard-to-get, (yeah right).

[DuncanONeil]

I find anyone going down on one knee ridiculous, it looks cheesy and tacky and if I see someone doing that I am bound to laugh. It is a cheap stunt from someone who cant bring themselves to do or say something original and sincere.

It may seem cheesy and tacky but it is likely a symbol that grew out of that of pledging fealty to the, whichever is appropriate, local ruler. For in essence that is what it is pledging you fealty to another.Having said it that way it would appear that it should not matter which way the proposal is offered, M to F or F to M.

And this whole business that it has to be a man who proposes is...well, rubbish. If the relationship is true, if the bond is real and the sentiment and commitment are there, its irrelevant who does it. Its the moment that counts, its mutual. But here is why women prefer men to propose...most relationships, especially vanilla ones, are less sincere than it is politically correct to say, there is rarely security of being on the same page so if a woman proposed she would always wonder if he married her because he really wanted to or because it was convenient for him to say yes. Plus, there is that childish tarty game of playing hard-to-get, (yeah right).

[leo9]

It may seem cheesy and tacky but it is likely a symbol that grew out of that of pledging fealty to the, whichever is appropriate, local ruler. For in essence that is what it is pledging you fealty to another.

It occurs to me that in the days when society was so male dominated that women were very rarely free to take any decisions for themselves, it might have been important to have a clear symbolic reminder that this was one of the few places where the woman had the final say. She might have enormous pressure put on her, but legally she still had a choice: he was expected to get down at her feet to remind them both that he was asking, not ordering.