Triggers

[Ozme52]

I must say... no, I haven't had to work with someone with such severe triggering mechanisms.

I think it would be a worthwhile to try. Worthwhile for you and for your prospective dom.

But that said, it will be mostly up to you. Dom's love helping but can rarely, if ever, "fix" someone. So what do you have to do?

You have to create a mindset where that dominant look means safety. Where, while loving to see the warm eyes, it's the dominant look that you crave and need. You trigger because of the threat. You have to condition yourself to see him as anything but a threat. So those quick changes thrill you. Until you crave them and lament not seeing them.

It will be difficult. That's why you have to do it yourself. But he can help.

[spicennice]

I think it would be a worthwhile to try. Worthwhile for you and for your prospective dom.
Thank you so much for the encouragement

You have to create a mindset where that dominant look means safety. Where, while loving to see the warm eyes, it's the dominant look that you crave and need. You trigger because of the threat. You have to condition yourself to see him as anything but a threat. So those quick changes thrill you. Until you crave them and lament not seeing them.
Brilliance! Yes, you are right, that is exactly where I am trying to get to. This statement has completely snapped my perspective into focus. Thank you so much Oz.

Wise dominion need not be harsh, or cruel, in fact it can be very very gentle.
This is exactly what I need to hear Denesuri - thank you so much for your perspective on this. It was making me afraid that harshness was a given. I have never been one to respond to harsh. Now, especially not. This statement helps me realize that I can move forward here with expectations that are not unrealistic for the lifestyle.

Things I once enjoyed had become terrifing.
It seems SO many things feel this way. I am chipping away at them one by one through sheer will or with the help of friends, but it can be so incredibly tiring (and trying for those that have to deal wiht me) at times.

keep reminding him of that so that he dosnt blame himself and pull back from you.
This resonates so much that it hurts. Thank you Symphony. I feel tremendous guilt because my reactions are so extreme that I feel like my needs trump all here. Look at me the wrong way and I pass out in front of you for hours? Puuuhhhhlease. Impossible odds to work with - but then, so have the ones I have already dealt with it seemed.

Thank you all so very much for having taken the time with me. So very much appreciated.