Quote Originally Posted by slu View Post
it moved from kinky sex to Him asking about having a bdsm relationship.

Things are moving kind of slowly, which i know frustrates my Dom.

i try asking what he wants me to do to or for him but sometimes i end up initiating sex or play time and i feel like i'm no longer the submissive one.

How do i get Him to take more control without demanding it. (i have spoken to Him directly, but i think He doesn't like conflict because he doesn't talk about feelings much) Especially when i know he's frustrated that things aren't moving very quickly.

If you have any ideas or suggestions please let me know what you think. i have been in this relationship for 5 years and this is very important to me so any help is greatly appreciated.
Something in this is not really clear: You say he wanted to move on, and now he is frustrated that things go slow, but he does not take enough initiatives?

You see what I mean, if he is the one who wants to move onward, and the ball - as the dom - is on his side of the game, and you are eager to get along, then what exactly is holding things up?

I wonder if it is possible that you are the one who wants more action, not he?

I think about whether you are completely on the same page with what you expect of a BDSM relationship?

And like some other people here I speculate whether he is not sure what to do?

As I see it, no relationship can really function without good communication, and that goes at least twice for anything to do with BDSM or TTTWD.
I myself do not see seeking info from each other as conflict or confrontational. Why not ask for 'time out' while the two of you try to figure it out?

Might it be an idea for you both to write down what you expect/want/need from a BDSM realationship, and then read each other's notes? Maybe seperately first? Or write a fantasy each?

Or study together on sites like this? Or seperately?

I am afraid there is no substitute for talking about things - at least as I see it. And do not worry, most people grope around in the beginning.

Good luck :-)