I really appreciate all the advice.

I know it sounds like I somewhat contradicting myself about him starting the bdsm relationship and then backing down, but it was because frustration took over. Life got into the way, we both got busy, or were tired, and he felt that he was trying and I was rejecting his advances. I didn't realize he was initiating anything since he wasn't giving me orders or acting any differently than normal.

I know this because I did what everyone has told me to do, I talked to him. lol Things are better now that I know what he thought was happening. I will also try to employ some of the more subtle "i'm in the mood" techniques to let him know I'm trying too without being too forceful about it.

Again, thank you everyone, and Pflutter, good luck to you too!