If real life is getting in the way, take steps to stop this from happening. Decide between the two of you (because you are still at the 'kinky sex' stage as far as I can see - only just thinking about moving on really) when and where you are going to have some 'you' time. Keep an hour or two on an evening or weekend free. Try to make this a regular thing - every week between 6pm and 10pm on a friday is 'kinky time' - and try to ensure that nothing gets in the way of that. This may mean reorganising other things, it may mean working harder on chores during the rest of the week to have that evening free and so on.

Another thing you need to do, as suggested above, is surrender completely. Do not initiate sex, do not make suggestions about what you would like and so on. Try hard not to top from the bottom (which is what you have been doing so far). Part of your problem may be that he is getting too used to you initiating things, too reliant on you telling him when and how you want sex and so he is not doing anything unless you suggest it. Men can be strange like this. Women are mysterious creatures and until we know how each individual one 'works' we are loath to experiment in case she gets angry/upset and stops having sex with us. Its good that you tell him what you need but if he is going to be a proper Dom he has to learn to depend on his own instincts.

Your role on these special nights is to serve him. You cook for him, make sure the house is clean, run a bath for him, rub his back and feet and so on. Make sure that he is aware that anything he wants from you is his to ask. His role is to decide what kinky and sexual activities you are doing that night. Hopefully by now he knows enough about what you like to do this without doing something you hate. However, if he does do something you hate you should still do it (unless what he does is unsafe or causes a severe psycholigical reaction in you in which case call a safeword) without complaint.

After the time is over, you do aftercare and feedback. You can feedback either verbally or in writing (a blog is useful for this). You tell each other what you enjoyed and what you did not enjoy and between the two of you, work out what you would like to do next time or what you would like to do differently. This is when you tell him the things you hated and so he will learn not to do that again...

Eventually you will reach a point where it becomes more natural - you need less planning, he can take the initiative more readily and so on.