thank you both for your replies, denu, Jennifer. As far as communication is concerned i'm not entirely sure how well i can do that; i can get very passive-agressivey on him, which i feel awfully guilty about, but i come out with moments of hardcore honesty and moments of being shut up like a clam. but i guess that will pass--it's only been three months (and i'm very, VERY new to this 'relationship' business). so i don't think i'm sure i'd like to come out with ALL of this yet, cause it sounds like a lot and it is, isn't it? but on the other hand, what i tell myself is that it could be so good, SO good if it actually worked out. I mean, both of us starting out and discovering, i dunno, it's like swimming to the depths of the ocean slowly and cautiously, but you'll find yer treasure at the bottom eventually. (yes, he's gotten me into pirate references)
unlike you, though, Jennifer, I couldn't give up all things BDSM, especially since, well, it's kinda embedded in my character. So the moments of powerplay I see with him are not planned in any way, it's me being me and him being him and either him winning or me letting him win (heh).
this is the one personal post in which i'm really not worried about anything. well, except maybe my dissertation. but i'm happy, there's nothing that need to be "worked out". so yay.