Hello folks, I haven't been posting for a while, although i've been reading some posts here and there and thought of replying...but didn't. Life has changed pleasantly, and I thought i'd come back to the community I gained a lot from during a difficult time, not only for a thank you, but also for perhaps some words of advice. See, little bip0lar met a boy. Well, a man really. And he makes me happy, which really can't be bad. And the sex is good. Which really also can't be bad.
I delivered a i'm-into-weird-shit line from the very beginning-- which didn't really matter, I suppose, because we never went into explicit detail. Fair enough, he saw the cuffs and paddle over my bed surrounded by tinsel, and did momentarily pause and look at me, but nothing was discussed, and the times that we used them weren't entirely sexual.
Then power-play started appearing, partly because he saw how I respond to sternness when it's required, and partly because, frankly, I think he enjoys that sort of power over me. I don't know if it's an ego boost or a manliness boost, or neither of the two, but it's getting stronger every day. And then the pain. In his words, he's doesn't want to hurt me, but with a lot of prodding and annoying and poking and general brattiness from me he has no problem to provide corporal punishment, especially after a long day. Which is fantastic, because sometimes it doesn't even have to be punishment, we've moved into a point of experimentation, I think, with how much I can take and how much he's willing to give at one time. And I've already seen the difference between punishment-pain and feel-good-pain, something i'd only read about up until now. A funny incident was a night when he took of his belt and I saw his face get a very “oh! I've got an idea” sort of look. He turns to me and says “turn around” and I just look at him in disbelief. And then he did the cutest thing.. He said “please”. I had to giggle and do it—only to be rewarded with plenty of thwaks on my behind. It was pleasant, I said thank you, and he was glowing almost as much as I was.
I even got hogtied a couple of times, but I think that was purely him showing off the knots he was taught at the Scouts and still remembers. I was clothed, so I can't write it off as sexual, but I did manage to sneak in a comment about getting sexually aroused like that, only to be smacked and told to hush. He's even made jokes about my safe word being “bananas”--although, I think he was joking, because he's said it a couple of times and i've been too embarrassed to actually confirm the seriousness of it.
Now, to my little mind, this looks like the beginnings of something that could possibly turn into “formal” D/s. Now, my need/want for submission is not only sexual, nor is my need/want of domination. Therefore, the way things are going now...well, it's fantastic. But I'm a little scared as to whether I'm reading into things here. That's why I was wondering, those of you who started out as more or less vanilla partners and then moved on, how did it begin? Was there a discussion where everything was stated, i.e. limits, wants, etc. or was it a gradual discovery for either or both of you? Were there moments where safe words could have come in handy, but instead you end up growling at your partner till they backed off? :P