Hi Ramona - sounds like you have a pretty difficult situation on your hands. I have not been in the same place, but I can understand how difficult it can be to be with someone who has a different idea of what the relationship should look like. The best advise is what you will hear over and over...communicate!

Also, take a good long look at yourself, decide what you need from the relationship. There are some BDSM relationships which don't involve sex at all or very rarely. I personally couldn't do that....but for others it works as what they need/want is the power exchange and not the sex per say. I've seen too many subs think that they can ignore their own needs when they enter into a BDSM relationship, only to end up miserable a few months later. Going into a new relationship you have to communicate your needs and limits to your partner and make sure you mesh..As a sub I find joy and pleasure in pleasing him, and he in turn makes sure my needs from him are met. But, to get to this point we had to talk alot and I had to be clear about my needs vs. my wants....not all of my desires are met, or at least not always met right away, but all of my needs are priority.

His "mental block" to having sex with you could be any number of issues, from previous abuse to being gay with many many reasons in between. If you talk and this is something you both want then maybe he needs to seek some counseling to help him get to the root of the issue and work on it. But, also don't be surprised if this is something he is unwilling or unable to work on right now at which point you have to make a decision for yourself if this is the right situation for you. Not all relationships work out, even with people we care about and who we mesh well with in other areas.

Best of luck!