The story:

I have been seeing my boyfriend/dom for about 7 month now. We met online. I had never had a bdsm experience before I went to see him after 4 month of e-mailing and talking over the phone. Of course, I was both excited and VERY nervous and had been dreaming of all the spanking and all the sex we were going to have.

The spanking I got, and I loved it! But NO sex!

We live 5 hours apart and can only see each other every three weeks, and on the 5th weekend we were together (new years eve), I broke down crying. He had never even made an attempt to have sex. I had given him blowjobs a few times and it didn't seem to be a problem with his ability to have an erection. When I asked him why he didn't seem to want sex he said that he had some kind of "mental block" and didn't know how he got it.

It is now 6 month later and we've had sex maybe 5 times, and when we have, it's been quite stiff and awkward. He does satisfy me with his fingers too on occasion but it doesen't quite do it for me. (Almost) every time I get horny, I end up very sad and frustrated. I told him that I wanted to talk about it again soon, beacause sex once a month is not nearly enough and it feels like we can't have a close and emotionally intimate relationship if it continues like this.

Has anyone had a similar experience or has any opinions or angles on this? I find it hard (impossible) to look at it in another way than my own.

I love this man and as people we are a match in heaven. But this issue is overshadowing a lot of all the good things. Please help!

/Ramona