During an extended family counseling session I told the counselor that I had never heard my in-laws ever use the term "I love you". In fact I had never heard "love" used at all. My father -in -law seemed insulted by that and replied "Of course she (my wife) knows we love her. We're her parents." The fact that their actions (physical and mental abuse, control and intimidation) spoke loud volumes to the contrary spoke to me VERY clearly. Tell the person you are close to EXACTLY what you mean. If it is derogatory, be diplomatic and kind. If it is congratulatory be effusive and laudatory. But to ignore or speak in quiet cypher speaks of apathy and unconcern. Hate is not the opposite of love. Apathy is.