I am a sub, but I think this might be helpful so I hope that is o.k. for me to reply to your post. Please forgive me if I'm being too forward.

http://www.ecstagony.com/eng/spanking.htm is a good source for all different types of punishments(erotic, non-erotic, painful, non-painful).

for our relationship (it might be not be the same for yours) if I struggled while he was tying me up, he'd give me a spanking to let me know he was serious. If I continued, he'd get annoyed, stop what we were doing, and tell me to let him know when I am willing to behave. Then if he was feeling generous we would continue what we were doing, with a punishment later. If he wasn't feeling generous I'd do the punishment right then, usually something long and boring (like writing lines or corner time), with no more "playing" for me (but a lot of pleasure for him) for a while.

I hope that this help.