sex

[moonlitsub]

Thanks rooshoe I too find that all of my fantasies have me being submissive in one way or another, I don't know if it was ever not like this even when it is something where I was looking at rough sex scenes where the women is the one taking it all i realized it is that I imagine myself as the women in those situations. I guess everyone is the unique little snow flakes they are when it comes to there preferences.

[ghanima{DM690}]

I can take it either way. I can have sex without BDSM but prefer it with and I can take my BDSM without sex but prefer it with.

One question to add to this thread: Do any of you find it more difficult to have sex without a BDSM element to it? In terms of actual difficulty in achieving orgasm? I say this because that is the psychological definition of a fetish - something which the person who has the fetish cannot achieve sexual gratification without. Which of course differs from the more mainstream definition.

I have found I can only orgasm during bondage and force. vanilla just wasnt me but its something i can to over time...it wasnt like a light switch allthough i wish it was..would have saved me years of vanilla ex's and there judgment

[desdemona]

I don't really enjoy vanilla sex. I have to make it more exciting in my head. I can take bondage without the sex, and I love them both together, but sex without bondage or force or SOME element of bdsm just doesn't do it for me...

One question to add to this thread: Do any of you find it more difficult to have sex without a BDSM element to it? In terms of actual difficulty in achieving orgasm? I say this because that is the psychological definition of a fetish - something which the person who has the fetish cannot achieve sexual gratification without. Which of course differs from the more mainstream definition.

That's an interesting question...and yes, the mainstream definition is very different, isn't it? Does that mean that many people who consider themselves to have fetishes don't actually have them?