looking for ways to spare her unneeded emotional distress

[Matin]

long title

so the question; (and the background blurb lol) my girl is so eager to please, and we are both so relatively new at this, that my desire to push our boundaries sometimes runs into limits she didn't know she had. or that we hadn't communicated - tho we have been over that exhaustively.

does anyone have any ideas on how to convince her that she is not a horrible person and an unlovable sub because she had to say no? i try my best, and most of the time she believes me - i think - eventually, but i would spare her that pain to begin with.

thanks

-matin