Sadism is very rarely mentioned on these pages yet it seems an essential requirement to be a Dom in my eyes. Take away the sugar coating of adjectives such as consensual, loving, trusting, caring etc. whipping, caning, nipple torture and clit torture etc. is all violence, no matter how controlled and in my eyes one requires just a little sadism to meter out such violence. As with setting tasks for a sub who has made some minor transgression, well that has more than a little spite involved in it.

It took me awhile to accept I had this sadism in me and more than just a little time to appreciate its deliciousness. Once I understood and accepted this sadism was part of my psyche and enjoyment of being a Dom, I was able to focus and develop my appreciation and the arts of the role of being a Dom. To me it seems related to wanting to consume ones object of desire. Whether you are dishing out the punishment or on the receiving end of it, where does sadism fit into the scheme of things for you?

If you answer, there is no need to qualify your sadism as being part of loving relationship etc. I assume we all accept that qualification as part of a healthy BDSM relationship.