Hello everyone. I apologize for my absence for the last few weeks. I had some bad experiences with my personal ad and didn't want to return and make things worse. However I have nowhere else to turn for advice...so please bear with me for the moment.

Some weeks ago I posted a personal ad for a dominant for online training and received so many answers it was a bit overwhelming. I was honored that so many people were considering me as a submissive. I talked with the majority of them, considered how I felt they and I would do in an online relationship, and narrowed my choices down to two.

One...I regret to say I chose too quickly before getting a chance to really talk personally with my other candidate. I recognized this, apologized profusely and asked for the chance to consider the other dominant. He graciously agreed. We continued talking as acquaintances...and he began to pressure me to talk about very personal things. Well, I am quite a shy and reserved person and I do not open up easily to someone I barely know. When I kept quiet when the talks turned uncomfortable, he accused me of having a "shell" around me.

I got rather angry and asked him what right he thought he had to pressure me and then tell me I've built up a shell. He seemed to recognize that he had upset me and apologized, agreeing to give me some space and not contact me until I contacted him, after I'd cooled down.

Soon after I spoke with the other dominant. I was already having doubts about online training as a result of the "shell" talk, and told him so. He was kind and understanding, and encouraged me to give him a try. I felt much better after speaking with him, and decided he was the right choice.

Now, the other dominant, who had agreed to leave me alone...well, he didn't. He IMed me the very next day and continued IMing, despite my desire for space from him. One memorable evening I finally stopped replying, and he sent messages every few minutes badgering me for not speaking. Finally I blocked him.

Later, feeling guilty for having blocked him, I took him off my block list, hoping we might get the chance to straighten out some misgivings. He IMed me quite soon, of course, and had the nerve to tell me that it was a character flaw of mine to ignore people. He does not even know me! Furthermore, he ignored my every request! I asked not to be pressured, I asked for space...and he ignored me. It was very, very upsetting. He signed off without giving me a chance to reply, and I broke down in tears.

I would hope my story would have a happy ending, but...the dominant I chose, who I was happy with, I have not seen in weeks. Granted he probably has work or classes or something that is keeping him from being online. I should not complain, but I am feeling rather neglected.

The whole experience has shaken me very much. I do want a chance to discover my submissive side, but...it's all gone so wrong, I don't know what to do now. Is there any hope for me? Should I continue with the one I currently call master? Is it worth looking for prospective dominants in the future?

I apologize for my sob story, but I really needed to talk it out. Thank you so much for listening.