chalsia

recently the question was posted to me about what is the difference between being simply kinky and a submissive. my immediate response of course was getting very defensive and i do not think i handled it the right way, by trying to defend my submissiveness like a badge of honor or something. But having had some time to think about it, i'm really pondering this thought.
recently went to a couple of munches and made some observations. I was under the belief that everyone going to organized bdsm event would have to know what they are doing. Well that certainly is a misnomer. I'm not saying that everyone at those meetings are fake (well in my eyes are fake), but most seem to think that bdsm is a fad, it is something to do, it is the *in* thing to do. Of course there are some there that practice polygamy and such and i have not even tried to figure that one out yet, my little mind is still trying to wrap around to what submission is.
According to the dictionary submission is *the act of submitting to the power of another*. Sounds very simply yes? But how do you decide who the *other* is, or does a submissive submit to everyone? How does the submissive know to who and when to submit to? Is that her discretion and if a submissive has all that power to decide, is she still a submissive?
I think i created more questions for myself then i had in the beginning. And i'm not sure if i'm right or wrong or anything, but this is how i feel in my heart:
i'm a submissive with my heart and soul and everything i'm. My submission does not start and end at the bedroom door. My submission is part of who and what i'm and i could not change that even if i wanted to, which i do not. I know in my heart that i'm submissive and if i ever be so lucky to find a Master, i believe i could be his slave, if that is what he wanted.
Do i just submit to just anyone, of course not. And even i'm a strong women, accomplished in my work and in the community, service to others is what brings me joy and happiness in my heart and soul. It does not make me a doormat, but it makes me who i'm. My yearning to please and be pleasing lives deep inside me, it is part of me, it is a pull deep in my belly, i do not know how to explain it any other way. Am i kinky? yes.. so in the end, perhaps the best answer would be.. "i'm a kinky submissive till the day i will be set free to be a loving slave".