As long as I can remember -from early childhood - been always into bondage, and pain both emotional as physical. I have always had a need to find a Dominant partner. But never really identified myself or my needs as BD/SM related. Never felt the need to 'belong' to a certain group of people. Most of the times my 'fantasies' were just that and I kept them to myself afraid of others judgement. Not until recently (met my perfect match and Dom) all pieces of my puzzle came together. And in addition - not until very recently, I started to realize how a lot of my feelings/fantasies and mental make-up identify me as a 'cuckquean'. I am learning more and more every day. Love this journey which in itself is a destination.