are all Doms polyamorous?
and if You are polyamorous, do You tell her right away?
first, i apologize if anyone posted this question before...i am new here and don't know if this topic has been brought up before. i was going to ask this question in the Submissive's Couch, but decided i would like to hear what Doms and Masters have to say.
i am somewhat new to the world of D/s, having fully experienced only one Master, and i was not collared, although He had planned that for me and was training me to be His sub exclusively. we were lovers for a while before He told me what He was, what BDSM was, and i got an education, no doubt. while much of my education was conducted by Him, i also was tasked to learn about it online, and many times it seemed as if the Master to submissive ratio was not equal - in fact, generally speaking, it appeared as if most Doms had more than one submissive. as my trust grew and as our bond strengthened, i asked Him about it, and He said He did not have any other submissives.
time passed, and He moved out of the house He shared with His vanilla wife, who knew nothing about His D/s life. when she found out, she kicked Him out of their house. He got an apartment, and that is when i found out a lot of things about him:
He regularly attended scenes in this building in downtown Phoenix during the evening hours. He couldn't tell me where but He did tell me that while there, He would have sex with women, but that they were all extremely careful and practiced safe sex, and He had lived this way for many years, well before i ever knew Him, and He produced medical records to show that He was free from any STD.
He told me that He had moved in with two submissives, or slaves, as He referred to them. one was in some sort of financial trouble and had nowhere to go, so He allowed her to live with Him, and they were lovers at scenes He attended, so that is how they knew each other. the other girl was someone He had been seeing off-and-on while i was with Him, and He was training her to wear His collar also, which i did not know. being the sort who wants to get to the bottom of things because i hate things to go unresolved, i asked Him to tell me everything.
and He did.
He told me that he had many submissives, and that He shared these subs with other Doms, but was not willing to share me with anyone, and would not tolerate my exploration with any man, Dom or vanilla. the fact is, i was so enamoured with Him, i had a blind eye for anyone but Him. i asked Him if He loved these women and he said 'no, they are like furniture to Me'. i asked 'am i like furniture to You?' and He said of course not. you don't actually fit into any category in My world, but You are in it anyway'. so we continued to see each other, but now i started to feel doubt creeping in, wondering if i pleased Him as well as so-and-so did, etc.
one night i went to His apartment to discuss what i wanted to do, stay or go, and His submissive was there, confined to the bedroom. the plan was that i would meet her and see if i liked her, but first He had His own plans for me, and after, i would decide if i wanted to accept the whole situation or not, possibly becoming part of it, sharing Him with these other women. wanting to please Him, i did as He directed me to do, undressing right there in His living room with His sub just behind the door a few feet away, even though i was horribly uncomfortable with her there knowing what was going on. after it was over, He told her she could come out and she didn't seem upset at all, although it was clear to anyone within hearing distance what had taken place. i felt i had to apologize to her and she just shrugged her shoulders, saying 'that's ok, i was watching Twin Peaks, so it sort of fit'.
ultimately i couldn't reconcile being one of many, so we parted ways. after that i still looked for BDSM info and imagery on the internet and it seems as if many Doms have many submissives.
are all Doms polyamorous, moreso than even vanilla men? does this way of life attract men who are already polyamorous?
this is something that i have wondered about for a long time, and i definitely do not make any character assumptions at all, because i think Doms and Masters are a-w-e-s-o-m-e, and they have their reasons for doing what they do - i just have these questions about this particular topic.
thank you.
