At two separate parties, with at least 300 people between the combination of both, I found myself looking for outward clues as to anyone I could identify as being part of the BDSM life style. Did he/she shut up when their mate lightly touched their arm? Did he/she become nervous from just a mere glance in their direction from their mate? I looked for anything I thought may signal and outward clue as to their relationship.

Are you easily identifiable in any way in public? I say you instead of we because I’m a “wanna be” and don’t really have a real life D/s relationship. But, by all outward appearances if we were identifiable my wife and I would be identified as living the life style because of the way she waits on me hand and foot, always has and probably always will. She always gets me anything I ask for and always brings me food without being asked to do so. As we all know, looks can be deceiving and first appearances need sometimes to be ignored. That would definitely be the case if you were looking around a crowd and picked my wife and me as part of the BDSM scene in real life.

Do you have traits, other than the occasional subtle playful gesture to your D or s, that would make you stand out in public places and have someone say, at least to themselves, “I bet that couple lives the kinky life style.”

I know that in many cases your everyday life is completely separated from your D/s relationship but are you subconsciously or consciously doing something that makes you easily identified by the general public?

I know if you are doing something subconsciously you're probably not even aware of it. However, by looking back on some specific occasion you may be able to think of something you did which would enable others to see you as you really are.

I just curious, that's all.