For New Submissives - The Wannabe Chronicles

[gemmy]

It still constantly amazes me the posers on sites who adamantly claim not to be *rolls eyes*

The Wannabe Chronicles Vol. I:

1. (the obvious) - I'm not a player / wannabe / troll, I just want to see you on cam and you must dress exactly like your pic to prove it's you *lecherous grin*

2. (the subtle) I'm only looking for one...(and wait for it)....but no strings attached, just someone i can call for play lol (can we say doormat?)

3. (the a$$hole) You'll give me photos of you nude showing your face and i will provide mine when i feel like it (uh huh, I'll get right on that)

4. (the loser) Ok can you phone me? ("Yes, but I'm not having phone sex") and mysteriously he goes offline without another word hmmmmm

5. (the angryman poser) Where do you work? ("I manage a company") What's with the #$@#*$ vague answer, just tell me what company, not like I'm going to #$@#*$ stalk you! (uh huh, yea, sure!)

6. (the emotional player) Oh my wife died, she was my One, you make me feel so much like that......just get on cam, I promise we'll take it slow (After getting on cam and not performing sexually, not a word again) What kind of pig uses a dead wife - there truly is nothing sacred

7. (the know-it-all) I think you're switch because you're too confident and I have many years experience so I know (upon challenging the know it all, expect to see "the angry man poser") lol

8. (the confused) On your knees bitch and answer this email (a little confused on the concept ya think?) lol

9. (the needy) Please answer this (two minutes later) Why haven't you answered this? (two minutes later) Are you going to answer this? (all after clearly stating in my profile - I want a Dominant, not a submissive)

10. (the coward) Ok we should meet! (Yes, absolutely, when and where?) Coffee, this afternoon? (Sure - I'll be there).......no show, nothing....Ok how about tonight? (Sure, sounds great) I'll call you after work and we can go for a walk.........again nothing....Ok I'll call you this weekend, we'll set something up (That would be good, yes please)........nothing........Can we say married COWARD?? (Again on challenging the coward, expect to see the angryman poser!)

Yes, these are all real examples as experienced by me - I've heard many, many lies and eventually they all come to fruition with time and patience you can find out who is real and who isn't.

Seem harsh for a submissive?

Many losers raising hopes and thinking my intelligence factor goes away because I'm submissive bring this about - it is not my nature to be harsh but I've no tolerance for stupid people who deem me to be just as stupid as they are.

At the end of the day, a true Dom/Master/Top will not 'chase' or 'hound' you or have the need to put immediate restrictions and his own insecurities on you - they are far too confident to bother trying to impress anyone.

Be confident in what you seek and never do anything that makes you uncomfortable upon meeting someone new.

lol I hope this helps ward off some of the losers for the new gurls and I look forward to any and all responses or additions

[gemmy]

As with any other relationship in our lives, we all know that meeting and taking home strangers is dangerous business if not done with care and safety.
In a control exchange relationship, the possible dangers could be even more so.

I know that many who are sub/slaves have no one in their real lives who not only don't understand this lifestyle, but don't want to know, so who do we turn to for support?

These lecherous 'doms' know that we live to submit and can be very clever in their design to lure us in secrecy, citing things like 'i order' 'your master says' 'if you want to serve me' - if a so called dom/master is telling you not to place safety measures, you're already in serious danger. A true, loving, caring Dom/Master in this life will only want your health and safety first to be paramount to anything else and will not fear your need to ensure a safe meet with Him.

Some things can be as easy as a phone call, but who do you get to phone if no one close to you knows that you are walking this path?

Hopefully a few of the safety measures below can be put in place to help ensure your protection, if not all of them.

I would please invite anyone to add more measures to this list as Any and All help is appreciated when our safety is involved.

1. Support Buddy - not the easiest to manage but if you can, have someone in the know. Give your support buddy all His information. This means you must have all of His pertinent information: phone number, address, full name, as much as you possibly can.

2. Safety call or calls - make sure you have someone to call and check up on you during your meet. Have easy code answers in place so your safety call can gauge if you are truly safe or if you are answering in fear. If no one local can do it - even an online support friend can do this for you. I have sometimes asked my safe call to call back (ensuring beforehand to have them ask me whether i needed them to call again or not so i could answer with a simple yes or no)

3. Set time lines - make sure you have laid a back up plan if you don't answer your safe call within a certain period of time or don't answer it in a manner that tells your safe call you are not in danger. Hopefully this back up is a local person who can come to your meeting place to check up on you. Know that no matter how big your fear is of telling a friend, they would rather see you safe more than anything else.

4. Keep your home safe - especially if you have children. Only you know your home situation but it's a good idea not to involve your home in this until you have established a good deal of trust and reality. If He has no where to play or meet, use a hotel and be sure your Buddy knows where.

5. Always exercise patience - in your own best interest your patience is your best weapon as it is the undoing of any fake out there. There are ways to ensure a good, safe meet and if you have to take time to ensure it, then take all the time you need.

This meet is all about you first, always keep you safe!

There are many in this group who are willing to help and support sub/slaves in their journey, please do not hesitate to use the resource offered.

Safe journey to all - Be well, Be Happy, Be Safe First

[icey]

lol ive come across all of them and more...but the confused one is the best by far...so many times was i told to kneel in the corner bitch .

one time instead of blocking a guy (wont insult the title Dom lol) like usual,i was in a bit of a cheeky mood so i 'agreed' when he typed a few seconds later are you kneeling and i replied yes he actually believed me and told me i was a good girl !!

at which point i really was on the floor...rolling *g*

[gemmy]

lol ive come across all of them and more...but the confused one is the best by far...so many times was i told to kneel in the corner bitch .

one time instead of blocking a guy (wont insult the title Dom lol) like usual,i was in a bit of a cheeky mood so i 'agreed' when he typed a few seconds later are you kneeling and i replied yes he actually believed me and told me i was a good girl !!

at which point i really was on the floor...rolling *g*

omg that is funny hahaha! they make idiots of themselves really hehe

[sisterhoney61 {RW}]

I love the confused ones the best. First they'll ask me if they can be my Master and when I tell them no, thanks, I've already got one, they ask me if they can be my slave. And then there ones who ask, "What are you doing?" I'm typing in the chat room. WTF do you think I'm doing? And they'll asked me if I'm tied up. Umm, yeah....I'm typing with my nose right now.

I have managed to scare off some trolls when they have insisted that I can play with them, even though I'm collared. When I insist that, no, I can't, they tell me that my Master will never know about it. I tell them that He already knows, because He's standing right behind me, reading what they are typing. And a lot of the times Master is right behind me, reading what they are typing.

[GS42]

4. Keep your home safe - especially if you have children. Only you know your home situation but it's a good idea not to involve your home in this until you have established a good deal of trust and reality. If He has no where to play or meet, use a hotel and be sure your Buddy knows where.

Just to add to this, when meeting for the first time make sure it's in a nice, public place. Also it's a good idea to do this in the middle of the day and not at night. Lastly, make sure you're not dependent on your date to get you home. It's all common sense, but too often forgotten when meeting someone you think is all right.

It should be quite a fun topic, by the way, to post chatlogs of the situations you all describe here. I know I would be entertained. : )

[~faerie~]

the safety precautions are a must, must, must. be careful...even if you have talked to them for months and feel comfortable still use precautions online or real life!! a real Dom or Master will appreciate the fact that you have takes these steps. talk to them first...get to know them, take your time. there are a lot of idiots out there. it takes time to weed them out.
i once heard it referred to as Dom shopping. lol
but in all seriousness, just be careful and use your best judgement.

[crazy_grrluk]

lol ive come across all of them and more...but the confused one is the best by far...so many times was i told to kneel in the corner bitch .

one time instead of blocking a guy (wont insult the title Dom lol) like usual,i was in a bit of a cheeky mood so i 'agreed' when he typed a few seconds later are you kneeling and i replied yes he actually believed me and told me i was a good girl !!

at which point i really was on the floor...rolling *g*

lmaoooooo those types believe anything u type back LMAOOOOOOOOOO

[alpha_Straye]

7. (the know-it-all) I think you're switch because you're too confident and I have many years experience so I know

or rather, he hopes *L*

[subserviant]

first questions from a wannabe. How old r ya, whats yr measurments, what r ya wearing ,what do ya look like .First answer goodbye

[~faerie~]

first questions from a wannabe. How old r ya, whats yr measurments, what r ya wearing ,what do ya look like .First answer goodbye

Don't forget "What are you into?...because i expect blah, blah, blah..."

lol

[Red Dragon {mpellegrino}]

LOL loved this whole thread! Funny and informative.

Now wondering which one I am?

Oh I nearly forgot for all the wonderful female subs who come to this thread:

How old are you, what are your measurments, what are you wearing and what do you look like?

ROFL.

Seriously though, many thanks for this one and to those thinking of meeting real life, READ AND FOLLOW THE ADVICE!

Mahalo xxx Dragon

PS Remember it isnt just the subs who should take these sensible precautions! The Dom/Domme should as well.

[butterflySlave4u]

Smiles on your PS, Red Dragon....from Your mouth to their ears.....

[angelnchains]

wow i feel so naive! LOL i know that i am new to this but damn.... thanks for the advice!

[jenn72]

Thanks for the info from a newbie sub!!

[Tojo]

Let's not forget the bully:

- Hell yeah I am, I'd love for you to be my slave girl
- hello!!! answer me dammit
- fuckin bitch...don't piss me off, you'll regret it

All lines taken from actual chats....

[John56{vg}]

First a disclaimer. I am NOT looking for a sub, I have found a woman that I love with all my heart and respect with all my soul. Violet girl makes me extremely happy and I strive to make her as happy as I am.

But this has been something I have not understood for awhile. The wannabes out there that think a BDSM relationship is just a matter of calling women awful naems and making demands right off. It is funny, yes but it is also sad.

I feel truly sorry for you lovely subs, Having to put up with all those demeaning PMs.

I make demands of Vgirl, I use her body and take her, but we took some time to KNOW each other. We have chatted about news and politics, we have laughed together we have spent vanilla days together. And we communicate VERY well our wants and needs.

When I demand something from her, when I call her slave and demand she take some cage time, she KNOWS that I inside I really love her and that I have the utmost respect for her and for US.

New Doms, please, treat the women that you approach with respect and love, get to know them, grow to love them. I am sure you will get what YOU want if you learn to give them what they NEED.

Sorry for this long-winded discourse. I just wanted to express my views of this.

All of you are lovely and wonderful and deserve someone that will be there for you.

Respectfully and with affection,

John

[cadence]

don't also forget that just because a Dom may be well respected and experienced, it does not mean that you will be compatible with them.
Never expect that because they have experience that they will be good Dominants.

[Wind_Walker25]

Very Good mastersgem, And very Wise! I hope all who are new reads this.

[jeanne]

don't also forget that just because a Dom may be well respected and experienced, it does not mean that you will be compatible with them.
Never expect that because they have experience that they will be good Dominants.

Good point, cadence. Thanks!

[Wind_Walker25]

jeanne, who is so very right!! Good post cadence!!

[rora]

my favorite thing to do when greeted with "What are you wearing..what are you into?" is just say...."Good morning to you too, hope you have a wonderful day. *smiles*"

that will usually bring them up short.

[jeanne]

my favorite thing to do when greeted with "What are you wearing..what are you into?" is just say...."Good morning to you too, hope you have a wonderful day. *smiles*"

that will usually bring them up short.

I'm a HUGE proponent of the "kill 'em with kindness" school of thought. Every unsolicited PM I've ever gotten from a Dom, asking me what I'm into or whatever...I respond with a hello and welcome to the forums and a wish that they find what they're looking for. Fortunately, that's a rare occurrence, perhaps because most are at least smart enough to realize that "Chosen By the Best" means just that?

[gemmy]

lol jeanne, yes one would hope they would take notice of your 'taken' status but what of those of us who aren't - seems we have to defend to the angry death that this particular person is of no interest to us - gets very tiring sometimes

[silver9]

Just been thinking that there's been so many posts recently about how new subs can struggle to find their way; or can learn the wrong things or end up in a bad relationship etc.

I know there's a whole area just for subs to post, but would it be good to have a thread for entirely for new subs to put up any questions they have so that all the more experience people could help out. It might be really useful, and it's a lot less daunting that starting out a whole thread yourself about one little thing if you're new to the site

[gemmy]

Just been thinking that there's been so many posts recently about how new subs can struggle to find their way; or can learn the wrong things or end up in a bad relationship etc.

I know there's a whole area just for subs to post, but would it be good to have a thread for entirely for new subs to put up any questions they have so that all the more experience people could help out. It might be really useful, and it's a lot less daunting that starting out a whole thread yourself about one little thing if you're new to the site

That would be a good idea silver, the only thing i could see happening though is if it didn't keep active enough and would fall off the board, which wouldn't help very much unfortunately

If you had anything in mind, please do feel free to put it here and i'm sure many members would be only too happy to see if they could help

[silver9]

That would be a good idea silver, the only thing i could see happening though is if it didn't keep active enough and would fall off the board, which wouldn't help very much unfortunately

If you had anything in mind, please do feel free to put it here and i'm sure many members would be only too happy to see if they could help

That's what I thought too, might work for a while though, maybe

It might put one up for now and see how it goes, if it doesn't work never mind, but if it does that'd be nice

[gemmy]

as i slowly walk along this new path, one word resounds through all of this lifestyle - Time

I think it's one that many new submissives don't spend enough of:

- take your time choosing the right Master/slave
- take your time enjoying the slow process of communication, building trust, devotion and love
- take your time in all Y/your thoughts - be sure of every thought before acting on it
- take your time in all Y/your actions - build the anticipation, savor each caress (verbal and physical), relish all the new sensations
- take your time in getting to subspace and linger happily there
- take your time in all the slow aftercare and resulting love

done with great care and Time, there are many rewards to reap
done with great inpatience and rushing will get you hurt and leave you broken

i'm a highly anxious gurl who's not well know for patience *smiles* but am very glad i've been taking my time to learn - the more i learn...the more i see i need more time to learn properly

for a lot of us it took a great deal of time to realize this part of us so it goes to say we should take our time in enjoying every subtle nuance of the journey - just something to think about *winks*

[underwhere]

Just been thinking that there's been so many posts recently about how new subs can struggle to find their way; or can learn the wrong things or end up in a bad relationship etc.

I know there's a whole area just for subs to post, but would it be good to have a thread for entirely for new subs to put up any questions they have so that all the more experience people could help out. It might be really useful, and it's a lot less daunting that starting out a whole thread yourself about one little thing if you're new to the site

I don't know if this is a technical possibility because I don't know the specs of the software that is used here, but.....

It probably could be set up as a new sticky thread or maybe even a sub-forum. For example, there could be under "Submissive's Couch" a section called "Q&A for Submissives". This idea is very broad and could equally be applied with similar results under the Dominants' Dungeon" section and the "Switches' Chaise" section too. Of course, the Q&A would be specific to each roll, but there would probably be some amount of overlay as well. Each new thread could be a specific place where people could ask their questions or inquire about clarifications.

[jonjon]

mastersgem,good threads.its good to see someone looking out for the new female subs,they need to know that there are wierdos out there with bad intentions & to approch situations with caution!.....keep up the good work!